Okay, maybe I’m missing something

Okay, maybe I’m missing something here, but how can wearing a vanilla patch stop chocolate cravings? Am I the only person that makes zeeero sense to? They say it’s because the patch makes you stop craving sweet things. But what if I like semi-sweet chocolate? In fact, I do like semi-sweet chocolate. Does that mean the patch will only semi-work on me? Actually, I think it would backfire on me. I think I’d be nauseous from the overpowering scent of vanilla on my body. I’d have to eat more chocolate to compensate. I’d have to eat enough chocolate to exude it from my pores to overpower the overpowering vanilla patch. Take that, vanilla patch! You’re no match for me and my semi-sweets!

So I saw Memento last

So I saw Memento last night. Weeeeeird movie. About a guy who can’t remember anything because he can’t make new memories. So he gets around it by taking Polaroids of everything and writing notes on the pictures. So in a sense, he has a photographic memory, despite the fact that he has no memory. Don’t you just love the irony?

Fierce Grapes

What is a fierce grape anyway? Are they special grapes grown for Fierce Grape Gatorade? What makes them so fierce? Do they beat up other fruits when you mix them into punch? Are they the punch in fruit punch? Are they the secret ingredient in Hawaiian Punch? Do they do more than punch? Do they kick and chop and bounce and bop? What do they look like? Do they wear bandanas on their head? Do they have names like Bob and Ned?

Did you know that Fierce

Did you know that Fierce Grape Gatorade is blue? I’m serious. True blue. Not a hint of purple. Go buy a bottle and see for yourself. It’s worth the $1.25, really. It’s quite disconcerting. When I drink something blue I expect blueberry. When I buy something grape I expect purple. I wonder if my bottle is just kooked. Maybe they had a red 40 shortage at the Gatorade plant. The label says it’s in there. How come I see only the blue 1?

Now I want to go buy more to see whether it really is supposed to be purple. Maybe this whole thing is a sales ploy.