I met Dr. James Watson

I met Dr. James Watson today.

The James Watson, you ask?

Yes, the James Watson, the one everyone here at the office is afraid of.

No, not the James Watson, elucidator of the double helix.

I must say, though, today’s James Watson was probably a thousand times more interesting than the James Watson could ever be.


Best Pickup Line

Nice shoes. Let’s fuck.

Where did this phrase come from? I can’t remember where I heard it first, but nowadays I seem to come across it every few months. No, I don’t mean that it’s said to me. My shoes aren’t cool enough. Besides, I think I would fall over laughing if that happened. I must say, though, it’s very honest and to the point. Well, at least the part about the fuck. Who cares about the shoes.

That’d be a great line to use on someone who’s barefoot.

Miles and Miles of Driveway

So right after Darth Vader came a long straight stretch of the road. We got to thinking about just how many miles of pavement there was in the US. It’s mind boggling, if you stop and think about it.

stop and think here

Mind boggling indeed. There are so many variables. First of all, how wide a road would you translate our total pavement into? Do you count shoulder pavement? It’s next to the road but not really. And sidewalks? And parking lots? And driveways?

We decided that driveways were probably the most quantifiable. So this is what resulted:

– The 2000 US census says there are 115,904,641 homes total.
– Assume that half have driveways. That’s ~50 million driveways.
– Assume that the average driveway is 20 feet long and one lane wide.
– 50,000,000 driveways × 20ft = 1,000,000,000 feet of driveway one lane wide
– 1,000,000,000ft ÷ 5,280ft/mile = ~190,000 miles of driveway one lane wide
– The equatorial circumference of the earth is ~25,000mi
– 190,000mi ÷ 25,000mi = 7.6

So a one lane road of US driveway pavement would go around the earth more than 7½ times!

That’s a lot of driveway.

I was driving down 101

I was driving down 101 yesterday evening around dusk, with the sun a little bit behind me. I looked in my rear view and saw a guy on a motorcycle with his unbuttoned shirt flying free and a helmet with edges that turn up. But in my rear view all I could see was his silhouette. Know what I thought he was at first? Darth Vader on a Harley.

Burger King Diet

Eat Burger King, get smaller. Really, it works. That’s why the 49ers have to have lunch catered at their minicamps. Da word from Coach Mooch:

These guys will never cook for themselves, and then they wind up leaving here and going to Burger King. Then, even if they’re lifting, they wind up shrinking, so this is designed to avoid that.