Fun With Styrofoam

11:25:20 PM EDT

Here’s something to try the next time you order a beverage on United:

– Ask for hot tea with a slice of lemon.
– Make sure the tea is hot.
– Make sure the lemon is at least a wedge, not just a slice.
– Squeeze as much of the lemon juice as you can into the tea.
– Drop the squeezed wedge in for good measure.
– Watch as your concoction eats through the cup.
– Drink and taste that styrofoam!

It’s really neat. The last time I did that it actually ate through the cup. Remember, drink fast so you don’t end up with hot styrofoam lemon tea on your lap!

No B&J’s For Me

I was standing in front of the Ben & Jerry’s freezer at Safeway yesterday. Try as I might, I could not bring myself to buy a pint. It wasn’t that I didn’t want ice cream and it wasn’t that I thought it was bad for me. I did want ice cream and in fact what I wanted was Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. But I just didn’t want the reminder. I didn’t want to remember all over again every time I opened my freezer. Remember what, you ask? Well that’s what I can’t tell you. Maybe you should ask me about my dream instead. Now that’s something to talk about.

Chewy Fries

und drei macht acht Uhr zehn

I had chewy french fries for dinner today. Not crispy and not soggy. Chewy.

Chewy like jerky.

Chewy like leather.

Hrmm… Leather french fries. Like a mini whip! Edible, too! Whoo!

What Makes a Muffin Tick?

Muffins are complex organisms. Their diversity could perhaps be compared to that of us humans. They probably have as many flavors as we have races. Not only that, but there are characteristics that allow other muffin groupings. For example, we have adults and children, they have big muffins and little muffins. We have big adults and little adults, they have gargantuan big muffins and reasonably-sized big muffins. We have well-endowed and not-so-well-endowed men and women, they have large-topped muffins and not-so-large-topped muffins. I shall refrain from blogging about my muffin top size preference here.

In an attempt to better understand the muffin species, I took it upon myself to dissect one of its members. I was going to eat it anyway but I figured I’d be giving its short existence a bit more meaning by allowing it to make a contribution to science.

And now, the autopsy results. In order to keep my blog reasonably loadable for those of you with dialup connections, the report can be found here.