I’ve got a bum bum.

I’ve got a bum bum. No, that’s not bum-bum, you baby talkers. A bum (adj.) bum (n.). It’s highly annoying. Not only does this mean no biking, it also means no climbing, no steep hills, and no tennis. Plus it makes me feel old. Why do I keep pulling muscles? This bum bum thing bums me out.

Oh, this is funny. I

Oh, this is funny. I don’t know about the female edition of naked news, but the male edition is hilarious. Their anchors’ reading level reminds me of my middle school days when we’d go around the room in english class and each read a paragraph from a book. Nope, these guys sure don’t read like regular news anchors. They sure don’t dress like regular news anchors, either!

You know what I’d like to know? How many people actually listen to and/or absorb any of the news they present on that site? How can you focus to listen and think about news when there’s a naked man (or woman, for you female edition watchers) on the screen?

I Am So Plane Evil

actually it’s 5:22:25 PM PDT

Oh, the joys of flying continue.

When the person in the seat behind yours keeps inconsiderately bumping your seatback, doesn’t it feel great to lean it back and sardine them?

Isn’t it even better when they push back in angry futility?

Don’t you just want to start laughing when you realize you’re doing all this sardining from a roomy exit row seat?

Am I a jerk or what?

Heh. They started it!

Loafers Are Yucky… Big Loafers Are Gross!

actually it’s 5:29:30 PM PDT… still in the air

No, I’m not talking about people. I’m talking about shoes!

Men’s feet look yucky in loafers. My dad was very fond of his loafers. Every time he went to Italy he would buy himself “a fine pair of Ballys”. Bally loafers. He would then proceed to proudly wear his Bally Italian loafers everywhere he went, every time he went out. Ugh. But he’s my dad and he was happy with his fine Bally Italian loafers so I didn’t say anything.

Someone I work with now (who will remain unnamed) likes to wear loafers too. He has big feet. I looked down one day and thought “Ewww!” I’ve decided that big feet in loafers are 10 times ickier than regular feet in that same yucky type of shoe.

My seatmates for both my flights today wore loafers. Big loafers. Gross!

Four Thirtay?

actually it’s 4:48:12 PM EDT but what time is it really if I’m flying?

Whoa. I started this entry to write something else but this “what time is it really” thing has really got me thinking. When you fly into another time zone, it’s like you’re in a time warp in the air. I mean, I have no idea what time it really is for me. I was in Eastern time and I’m headed for Mountain time but right now I’m probably passing over the Central time zone. So then what time is it?

Fo’ thirday, as the Spin Doctors would say.

Yes, the Spin Doctors. Talk about a time warp!

Hot Apple Juice

actually it’s 4:38:00 PM EDT and I just got fed

The flight attendant comes by asking us what beverage we want with our meals. The guy next to me says, “Uh, apple juice.” Flight attendant woman stops and looks confused for a moment, then says, (imagine British accent here) “I’m sorry sir, we don’t have hot apple juice. Would you like cold apple juice instead?”

What? No hot apple juice? I guess that means they’re not going to make me my dry nonfat double cappucino. Darnit.