Road Ramblings
March 17, 2008 / Monday
Redundancy Rant Redundancy Rant
Okay, so what's the deal with cars that sport license plate frames that have the car make and/or model on them? Don't the owners realize that their car already displays that information on the badge? Why do I need to be told that a Dodge is a Dodge twice, or that a Mustang is a Mustang twice? I already know! I saw the badge! Plus, if the car is cool enough to deserve a special license plate frame telling people what kind of car it is, the people who care probably already know what kind of car it is! I wish these people would stop repeating themselves repeating themselves. Pffffft. Pffffft.
11:19 PM | Rant/Whine:Road Ramblings| Comments (3)
March 13, 2008 / Thursday
Grinny Honk Good, Fraidy Honk Bad
At the end of the offramp on my way into work is a signaled right turn. This turns onto a busy three lane road. If the right lane is open, I'll make a turn on red. For some reason, this often alarms drivers in the middle lane, and causes them to honk at me. When I catch up to them, they often scowl at me for scaring them, to which I say, geez, quit being such a scaredy cat.
When I made this turn today, a passing truck in the middle lane honked. I looked over at the truck with my What Is Your Malfunction? face and saw a guy hanging out the window grinning at me. Hello to you too. The fact that you were honking to grin at me and not because you were scared I'd hit you made my day.
11:24 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (1)
March 06, 2008 / Thursday
Holstein Horses
Most mornings, on my way into work, I pass by a handful of animals grazing along 680 N as I pass through Fremont: a few brown horses and a couple Holsteins. The Holsteins are skinny, and thus look like their horsie friends from a distance. The first time I saw them, I was convinced that someone had managed to breed together a cow and a horse. After studying them closely for weeks (sorry, other drivers on 680), I realized what they really were: really really fit cows.
Still, they're fun to look at. Maybe I'll try to get a picture of them so I can share the Holstein horsie joy with all of you (sorry again, other drivers on 680).
09:54 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
February 26, 2008 / Tuesday
Cthulhu For President
I saw this bumper sticker on my way into work today and it made me laugh.
I want! I buy! From here!
11:55 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (1)
July 10, 2007 / Tuesday
Road Ramblings Catch-Up
Missed a couple of road ramblings due to being sick these last few days.
Mr. Tizzy Finger
Some guy in a parking lot got mad at something I was doing (or perhaps not doing), honked, and gave me the finger. I blew him a kiss, which garnered a really emphatic finger, so I made kissy faces at him, which set him off in a tizzy of really really emphatic finger giving.
I will admit, I probably did do something to piss him off, since I was sick and likely not in the best condition to be operating a motor vehicle. My illness, however, did not detract from my enjoyment of Mr. Tizzy's really emphatic show of finger. Thank goodness.
3-On-1
Some guy in a pickup decided that the 2-lanes-to-1 on-ramp onto 237 from Mathilda would be a good place to try to pass several cars from behind. We, the would-be passees, would have none of it, and he ended up entering the freeway on the shoulder. One of us (though not I, since I refuse to be nice to asshole drivers) then gave him a spot in the right lane by moving left, and we proceeded to box him in fairly tightly for a good long while. We eventually tired of our game and unboxed, and guy in the pickup dropped back and drove slowly at a good distance behind us until we parted ways at 880.
Thank you, other cars. That was really special.
10:41 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (2)
April 18, 2007 / Wednesday
Boxvan Go Boom
A crazy white boxvan caught my attention on the way to work today. The driver was speeding, weaving, and doing so with abrupt lane changes. When I passed the vehicle at a stoplight (it was in the left turn lane), I noticed the gas cap dangling on its chain, and the entire outside of the tank slick with fuel.
Way to go, boxvan crazies.
09:26 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (4)
March 17, 2007 / Saturday
Horns A'Blarin'
I never used the horn in my car much until recently. Perhaps it was because I likened a horn blast to yelling, and my usual tendency is to avoid confrontation. Besides, using the horn often doesn't solve anything, and most situations clear themselves up just as fast without. Why escalate if it won't do any good?
My answer for that now is, it does do some good. Specifically, it makes me feel better. These days, if you're being an idiot or an ass to my detriment, instead of sitting in my car fuming I'll blare my horn at you. It's far more cathartic, and it's a great way to send my unhappy feelings in your direction. Are you upset now too? Good.
I'm starting to manifest this behavior, sans horn, outside of my car too. These days, if something bugs me, I'm much more likely to say or do something about it than to let it slide. Perhaps I've finally learned that things that bug me don't go away on their own. Don't be surprised if one day you do something questionable and I all of a sudden "BEEEEEEEP!!!" at you at the top of my lungs.
Consider yourself warned. *takes a deep breath*
01:28 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
March 15, 2007 / Thursday
I'm Not Convinced
To the ricer boy in the dirty slammed Lancer with the loud aftermarket pipe and wannabe Evo badge: If I were a CHP officer I'd pull you over to harrass you about your stolen 11-99 license plate frame. It's not a get out of jail free card if you don't look the part.
After seeing a couple of those frames on more appropriate vehicles earlier in the evening, I'd been wondering how one of those would look on a cheaper one. Thanks for answering that.
09:53 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
March 12, 2007 / Monday
Monday Morning Commute Buddy
Dear Impatient Tailgating Jeep Driver,
Thank you for breaking the monotony of my Monday morning commute by trying to ride my bumper off 237. Playing "Keep the Jeep Stuck in Traffic" all the way to Central was great fun. Too bad we had to part ways there. Perhaps we can play again some other day.
Try not to rear end anyone,
Viv
Room to pass? Ooh ooh ... SIKE!
09:48 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (2)
March 05, 2007 / Monday
Saturday Recap
My, what a busy day ...
11:00 - Woke up, eeked at how late it was, and jumped out of bed to make Dutch Babies. I'd read about them on Jennie's blog earlier in the week and absolutely had to try them. A tasty success!
12:15 - Heeded Christy's plea and set out in search of decent lemons. Found a big bag of good ones for cheap at Trader Joe's. Hooray for TJ's! Went home and made lemon bars for the R4 game the next day.
2:00 - Finished up the lemon bars and snuck in a short ride on the Monster. I was glad I could get out and enjoy the nice weather even though I was unable to pedal. Hooray for motors!
3:00 - Headed up to Motostrano in RWC to check out some gloves. My original objective was to try on some REV'ITs that I saw in their most recent newsletter, but as it turns out, they don't arrive for another week or so. Found a pair of Racers that fit pretty well, though. Will return in a couple weeks to compare those with the REV'ITs. Either way, it'll run me between $150 and $170. Ouch!
4:00 - Found a place to sit and read a couple chapters for school. Not very exciting, but productive, at least. I have another 9 chapters to go. Ugh.
5:15 - Met Lucinda at Beard Papa's for cream puffs! Yumminess!
6:15 - Went to Belmont for GHATD. Played water girl, then on-ice coach. GHATD, always fun.
9:00 - Got a call from Nadsy. "Can you believe our plane landed an hour early?" he asked. Well, given that he was calling me, I guess I could! Zipped down to SJC and gave him and Azmina a ride home.
10:00 - Returned home, cut up the lemon bars, and packed up what I needed for the rest of the weekend.
11:00 - Repeatedly pissed off a ricer on my way to Aaron's house. I was only toying with him, but he seemed to take it really personally. It took him a while, but he eventually got his car up to about 100 MPH on 237 and zoomed by. He then flashed what was later explained to me as the "I beat you" hazards, which I thought was funny because by the time he caught up to me I'd been going the speed limit for a while. Thank you, local ricers, for being there to make me feel like my car is fast. Without you I'd probably look at the ground beneath my bottom rung and cry.
All that, in 12 hours. Not bad!
09:03 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (2)
May 07, 2006 / Sunday
Mathilda Madness
So I'm driving down Mathilda toward 101 this afternoon, sunroof open, windows down, Rockstar blaring, bandana on my head to keep my hair from blowing everywhere.
You ... can't .. be me I'm a lightweight Kraut Rocketeerin' RockstARRR!
... who looks like a pirate.
Anyway, I'm first in line at the red light at Evelyn. I look over to my right, and this guy in an early 90's Nissan Sentra smiles at me. I'm in a good mood (good mood == friendly mood) so I smile back. I then look away to plug my cell phone into its charger. I look back over at Mr. Sentra, and his window is now rolled down. And he's leaned over looking at me, smiling. He sees that I see him, and he does a funny eyebrow thing at me. Amusing. The light changes and I drive off.
A few blocks later I'm first in line again at the red light at Maude. I look over to my left as this guy in an early 90's Ford Escort with a busted front bumper pulls up next to me. He honks his horn, waves, and blows me a kiss, which elicits a very amused smile from me. The light changes and I drive off. He keeps up, honks his horn, and with a huge grin on his face starts yelling something at me as we zoom up the 101 overpass. I can't hear a thing he's saying and I tell him so, although he probably can't hear me telling him so. I take the 101 onramp and he continues down Mathilda, but not before honking several more times and waving goodbye.
I'm a little confused. It's not as if I was dressed for a night out; I was wearing a T-shirt and a bandana!
I think they must either (1) be after me lucky charms pretty red car or (2) have pirate fetishes.
ARRR!
08:56 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (4)
March 03, 2006 / Friday
WussRX
To the guy in the WRX on Central Expressway this morning: If you're going to be a 5 MPH wuss on the onramp when there's zero traffic on the road, I'm going to blow by you. Tailgating me for the next 2 miles won't make up for your wussiness.
I usually try to behave myself when I get close to work, so I don't inadvertently piss off a coworker. Since I forgot today, I'm sure I'll find out that he works at my company.
10:38 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (1)
October 14, 2005 / Friday
Poopiehead, Stop Making Me Laugh!
As I was navigating my way through three-carlengths-of-visibility fog on Skyline this morning, the car behind me jumped out to the left, accelerated enough to not quite clear the front of my car, and cut back into my lane. I honked my horn in disapproval and we exchanged fingers. As I passed him later, I turned my head to give him a dirty look. He turned his head too, to give me a big cheesy grin.
He was a big dark black dude with really white teeth, and through the thick fog, all I could really see were the really white teeth. When I saw that, I forgot all about giving him the dirty look and just laughed.
10:19 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (1)
July 28, 2005 / Thursday
Asses Of Evil
Saw this bumper sticker on my drive home tonight:
It made me laugh. I guess most punny things do.
06:47 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
July 13, 2005 / Wednesday
Poopiehead Rider
On my way into work this morning, there was a guy on a motorcycle going far faster than traffic, squeezing between cars at 80 MPH, and weaving back and forth through lanes. I watched as one of his sudden weaves scared the wits out of a cager, who reacted by swerving into the adjacent lane. Fortunately, the lane was unoccupied.
To the idiot on the motorcycle: I have no problem with your desire to extinguish yourself, but don't disturb the lives of others in the process. Also, when you ride like a jerk and piss off the cagers, you're making the roads more dangerous for other motorcyclists.
I say that because I saw a motorcycle in my rear view soon after the spooked cager swerving incident, and my first thought was, "Oh no, not another dick on a bike."
Wait a minute, I ride one of those too.
Maybe his other vehicle is a black Range Rover.
11:01 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (2)
July 11, 2005 / Monday
Sigalert Radar
Bubka^4 did some Googling and found a likely source of the annoying K band radar on 280: Sigalert
Damn those little dots.
01:32 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (3)
Range Rover Of Death
Yesterday, on my way to meet up with the Monkey before the wedding, driving South on 280, some guy in a black Range Rover almost killed me.
I was in the left lane; it was two lanes over. It signalled and made a quick jump into the lane next to mine, not far ahead of me. It stopped signalling. I held my speed and started passing it a few moments later. I kept an eye on it because its lane change moments before was a little too sudden for my liking.
Good thing I was watching, because the driver decided on another sudden lane change -- right into what would have been my car.
I honked and swerved, escaping what I'm sure would have been a very messy wreck by driving on the left shoulder as the Range Rover of Death completed its sudden jump into the space I had occupied a split second before.
It then proceeded to drive slower than everyone else on the freeway. In the left lane. On 280.
Later, it moved to the right lane, where it sped up enough to catch up to me.
The driver looked over. A blank look.
What? No apology for almost killing me? At that point, I seriously contemplated running him off the road.
Good for me, I thought better of it and I sped up to get away from him. I looked in my rear view and saw him almost perform another sudden lane jump into an adjacent car. Fortunately for the other car, he saw it before actually trying to move over.
Later, at the wedding, I looked across the aisle and thought I saw the guy in the RRoD. I made sure to do a scan of the cars at the country club before we left. Sure enough, there was a black Range Rover there.
When I saw the suspected RRoD driver arrive at the banquet following the wedding, I went out to the parking lot to see if the RRoD was there too. I didn't see it, but in retrospect I suspect that he may have seen me at the wedding and changed vehicles afterward.
To the guy driving the RRoD (a.k.a. the guy who almost killed me yesterday) ...
If you were at my friend's wedding: Please change lanes more carefully in the future, and if you forget and almost kill someone, it would be nice if you could at least apologize.
If you weren't at my friend's wedding: FUCK YOU.
12:31 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (6)
July 07, 2005 / Thursday
Call Box Radar?
Has anyone else noticed that the call boxes on 280 now emit K band radar?
It's sooo annoying.
11:25 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (4)
March 19, 2005 / Saturday
Of No Significant Relevance To The World As A Whole
I almost got hit by a streetcar today.
That would've hurt.
11:03 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (2)
February 12, 2005 / Saturday
Traffic Blurb 1: Excuse Me Sir, Are You Lost?
Older white Daewoo stationwagon in the lane adjacent to mine in parking lot flow getting onto the Bay Bridge today:
- Bush/Cheney bumper sticker
- God Bless America bumper sticker
- it's a child ... not a choice license plate frame
- little wooden cross dangling from rearview mirror
I defintely don't see *that* every day (and that's why I like living here).
Traffic Blurb 2: Dumbass!
I spent a good 20 minutes crawling through traffic next to a couple of cruiser guys who walked their bikes with us at car pace. Then, in the lanesplit one over from where I was (and just to the left of the cruiser guys), 4 beefy sportbikes recklessly zoomed by. 2 carlengths after passing the cruisers, I saw one of the sportbikes flip in the air. "Ow!" I thought, followed by, "Dumbass!" when I saw that the rider was okay. I'm not sure *how* he managed to get his bike to somersault, and how he managed not to hit any cars. The cruiser guys rolled by and revved. Ha!
12:06 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
February 08, 2005 / Tuesday
I'm Sorry You Suck
So this sucky driver cut in front of me at the last moment before the 280 to 380 split. This happens all the time; no one really wants to change into the exit lane a full half mile before the exit and drive slowly while other cars cut in front of them.
I was somewhat miffed, but then after the curve I saw the driver trying to cut over into the right lane, in what was relatively light traffic for commute hours, and I realized the reason that car cut in front of mine so late was because the driver didn't know how to change lanes.
The car finally made it over, and as I drove by I saw the driver sitting all of six inches from her steering wheel, looking frazzled by the whole experience.
So then I felt better.
The end.
08:57 AM | Rant/Whine:Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
December 01, 2004 / Wednesday
Short Short Road Fuse
I have not been good road company (to myself) this past week. I've been fairly mellow behind the wheel (for the most part), but every single time I've gotten into my car I've encountered between 1 and 5 people who do something to piss me off (take the basketball head, replace it with a matchstick head, and strike). Have there been more dumb people on the roads the past 7 days, or is it just me?
It's me. I shouldn't let dumb people bug me, but some days (or weeks), I just can't help it.
11:13 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
November 28, 2004 / Sunday
Rant Rant Rant
Rant 1: Craaazy driver on 101 today. Weaving, speeding, cutting people off, taking my lane even though there was half a car space to squeeze into. Yes, your car is a piece of shit and I have to give you space. I wish I had a monster truck so I could turn you into a speed bump without scratching my paint. I swear, I think the driver was high.
Rant 2: *#@(*#$&) crack rice place closed a full hour early today. I hate them. I wish their rice (and ground beef) wasn't so damned good. Screw it, no more trips for crack rice. At least the sushi place nearby was good. I've never had so much spicy scallop in my life!
Rant 3: The Twirp has gotten better. Darnit. I take solace in the fact that he still can't skate backward. Not that I'm all that wonderful a backward skater, but I'm still 5 times better than he is. I bet he still falls over at the slightest nudge. *nudge*
09:58 PM | Rant/Whine:Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
November 23, 2004 / Tuesday
Hey Look! It's Ponch And Jon!
Every time I see a pair of California Highway Patrol motorcycle cops on the road, I start singing, and boy is it scary listening to myself "dooOOoo"-ing and "waaah"-ing my way through a 70's TV theme song.
Wah wah WAH WAAAH ... !
09:39 AM | Music:Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
October 20, 2004 / Wednesday
Go Go Go!
I usually shout that on the ice at my teammates, but today I found myself shouting it in my car. You see, there's an intersection on Lake Merced Blvd where one of the lanes splits into 2 at the light, and then merges back into 1 right after the light. I think that lane is there so people can turn right, but it's abused by impatient and overly aggressive drivers who want to get ahead.
Today, at that stoplight, I was in the far left lane (no splits or merges), looking over at a guy on a motorcycle in the lane next to me. A beefy rice rocket pulled up into the temporarily extra 3rd lane. The light changed, and the beefy rr took off. The motorcycle just sort of putted along. I couldn't believe it! That motorcycle should have been putting the beefy rr to shame! "Go go go!" I shouted, to no avail.
I realized soon afterward that the motorcyclist was a newbie. At least that's what the braking through the entirety of every curve on the road (this is the fun curvy road I've blogged about in the past) seemed to indicate. That, and the 5 or 6 exaggerated leg bounces on the shift lever at every stop. I don't claim to know much about riding, but I wanted to pull him over to teach him how to ride.
Yes, perhaps it was wise that he opted not to go go go.
07:19 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
October 10, 2004 / Sunday
Deceptive Drivers 1: Ambiguously Ugly
So I'm driving along Lake Merced Loop, and this ugly man in a shiny black sedan is tailgating me. We get to the dual left turn lane and he passes me on the right. I look over to give him a nasty glare and it turns out he's really an ugly woman. Oops.
Deceptive Drivers 2: Woof?
I'm bringing my goalie gear out to my car, and I walk past a car pulling up with a woman behind the wheel. I put my gear in my trunk and head back into the rink to watch Patty take some pickup hockey slapshots. I walk by the car that just pulled up, and there's a full grown golden retriever in the driver's seat, looking at me like he owns the car. Woof!
11:26 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
September 15, 2004 / Wednesday
Ungood Mood = Ungood Road Citizen
To the geezer in the 330Ci convertible on my way to the gym today:
1. Yes, I was annoying you on purpose by blasting Methods of Mayhem at the stoplight.
2. I couldn't resist. You look silly in your car.
3. Don't think I didn't hear you grind 3rd gear trying to race me off the line.
4. I laughed when I heard it.
03:41 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
February 02, 2004 / Monday
Commute Blurb 1: Man, That Took A Long Time!
My usual 25 minute commute from Doug's house was extended almost 3x today. Played through my CD 1.5 times, passed by 3 accidents, and got blown around going 10 MPH.
Commute Blurb 2: How 'Bout This Weather?
The Yahoo! weather report for today says "Rain".
I say, how about "High Pressure Car Wash"?
09:56 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
December 19, 2003 / Friday
Car Blurb 1: Traffic Everywhere!
My trip computer tells me I've spent 2 hours and 15 minutes in my car today. It's crowded out there! Being in downtown SF (twice!) doesn't help, either. Off to Union City this evening. That should bump my car time up by another 2 hours. Good thing I like my car.
Car Blurb 2: I'm A Nice Motorist
The lady in front of me at the gas station was about to drive off with her fuel cap off and door open, so I knocked on her window and let her know. My good deed of the day. Didn't seem to improve my traffic karma any, though.
Car Blurb 3: I'm a Mean Motorist
I was in one of those one way loop parking lots in San Mateo, looking to park and get lunch. I was stopped, and there was a car just in front of me about to pull out. Then this girl walked down toward me, and this car up ahead started backing up, because I guess since she passed the spot before I reached the spot she thought it was rightfully hers. I was feeling like a jerk so I decided not to back up and make room for her. We spent a good minute there, her trying to inch back and me sitting there giving her and her passenger standing to the side a "good luck, I don't give a fuck" look. I didn't even really want that space (the car next to it was parked over the line), but I just didn't feel like backing up. Finally, the car next to the one leaving left, too, and they got a space.
In the end, I backed up a little 'cause I think she would have rolled right into me otherwise. I figured it'd be a pain in the ass to prove fault if the front of my car were damaged against the back of her car. I mean, what, was her friend going to be my witness? If I'd had my camera up front instead of in the trunk I'd have considered videotaping it and screwing her over. Sure, I'd love a nice new rock chip free bumper. I'll go for the European version, if you don't mind. Enjoy your new insurance premium!
02:18 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
December 12, 2003 / Friday
Dude, Don't You Have Anything Better To Do?
On my drive to the gym this morning, there was a "this is a 25 MPH zone and here's your fast you're going Speedracer" radar station on the side of the road. There was a grumpy looking (and frumpy looking) man standing next to it, pointing his finger at all passing cars clocked going over 25 MPH.
I got an index finger. Had I realized what he was doing a little faster he would have gotten a middle finger.
On my way back I looked to see if he was still there, since I was having thoughts of obnoxious drive by engine revving. No grumpy man in sight, but as I looked past the radar station I saw a sign with the words "San Carlos Senior Citizens Center" (or something like that) on it.
That explains a lot. I guess he really didn't have anything better to do.
10:48 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
December 10, 2003 / Wednesday
Rainy Roads Blurb 1: Eeek!
Last night, just off the Ralston onramp onto 92 West, a car almost rear ended me. Traffic was stopped, I was stopped, and there were cars in the adjacent lane stopped waiting to cut in. I heard a car sliding. It slid for what seemed like a good 3 or 4 seconds. I looked forward, I looked left, nothing. Then I looked in my rear view, and I saw a car starting to spin sideways, headed my way. A split second later, and still a few feet from my car, it finally came to a stop.
I was on the phone with my mom at the time, so I didn't say anything. My mom would have scolded me for driving and talking on the phone, despite the fact that I always use an earpiece, and despite the fact that I was stopped in traffic and couldn't have done anything about getting crushed by the out of control SUV.
I realized afterward that my attitude toward getting crunched in my car has changed. It used to be, after the initial "Eeek!" and "Phew!" I'd get mad that someone had just almost hurt my dear little car. Nowadays, I "Eeek!" and I "Phew!" and I think to myself, "Gosh, I sure am glad I'm in my car. That would have hurt on my motorcycle!"
So, pretty car that's currently ghetto, if you ever get crunched, I will be sad, but also happy that you crunched to protect me.
Rainy Roads Blurb 2: I Can't See!
Intermittent torrential downpours on my 280 commute* this morning. At times I couldn't see more than 15 feet ahead of me. At one point, I started braking 'cause visibility was near nil, and all of a sudden a little white Civic going about 40 MPH appeared in front of me. Come on, people! If the weather's shitty, turn your lights on!
* Huh, I have a commute. Sometimes that seems strange to me.
Rainy Roads Blurb 3: Vroom?
To the guy on the VFR going down 280 with me this morning: You are either really crazy or really unlucky to be riding in this stuff. I can barely handle this weather in a car!
Rainy Roads Blurb 4: Traction Control!
Slick roads means I get to be a nut and play with my traction control. EDL, ASR, and ESP, whatever they stand for, fun fun. I think I got the ABS going a bit, too, as I was pulling into my parking spot. Whee!
10:42 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
December 03, 2003 / Wednesday
Car Blurb 1: Gear Grinding
My little foot injury is bad for my car. It hurts to push the clutch in so I think I lift my foot too early. Been grinding gears left and right! Okay, more like forward and backward. Poor car.
I should ride my bike instead. I was planning to ride today since it's not supposed to rain but I didn't feel like it. Imagine that, I didn't feel like it. Yeah, freeway riding's not for me. It's boring going under 90 but I don't like to go over 90 'cause I don't want a ticket. Plus, going ridiculously fast doesn't really do all that much for me. Twisties and put-putting around town, cool. Freeways, not cool. Track, probably cool but I wouldn't know. Maybe next year.
Car Blurb 2: Another Poopie Porsche
Okay, Mr. Not-Even-Plated-Carrera-4, going 70 in the left lane while talking on your cell phone is NOT good etiquette for driving on 280. You want to go 70? Well then get into the right lane! I think the slower cars in that lane are going about your speed.
Yes, that was me shaking my fist at you after I cut in front.
• • •
P---B-----: interesting.... carrera 4 going 70? i didn't even know they could go that slow
P---B-----: 
SoopahViv: maybe this one's modified
Oh, and that reminds me ...
SoopahViv: he had his blinkers on the whole time, too
SoopahViv: lame-O
SoopahViv: shouldn't be allowed to drive a porsche
10:41 AM | GTI:Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
November 21, 2003 / Friday
Road PITA
I'm at a green light, ready to make a right turn, waiting paitently for the woman with the stroller to make it across the crosswalk. The lady behind me gets impatient (she wants to go straight). I see her cursing in my rear view mirror. She honks right when the woman and her stroller are just in front of my car. So I wag my finger at her (I think you can guess which one). This really gets her going, and her already ugly expression turns even uglier and almost cracks my mirror. She gives me the finger back, and I blow her a kiss.
If only she'd been in front of me, I could have blown her a finger kiss.
Anyway, I usually let stupid driver actions slide (i.e. no fingers offered). What does this little incident mean? It means I'll probably have a badass hockey game on Sunday. Hooah.
09:58 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
October 19, 2003 / Sunday
Focus? What?
On my drive home from hockey today a green Ford Focus with a bunch of what were probably high school maybe early college aged boys pulled up to my right, smiled and waved, then pulled up to my left, smiled and waved again, then pulled ahead and bopped their heads to whatever they were playing in their car as they headed for the San Mateo Bridge toll plaza.
They were amusing, but I was talking to my dad on the phone at the time, and he was being all serious and talking about his job and my job and how I should buy a house or a condo or something instead of paying rent. Then he did the Asian parent thing and said something about helping out with the down payment, which is nice and tempting and all, but I feel like it's their money and they earned it and they should go and enjoy themselves for once. Buy a boat, buy a plane, go on vacation and tour the world! Oh, but those things don't appreciate like houses do. Man, even my dad feels strongly enough about my wasting money on rent to talk to me about it. I know, I know, I really shouldn't be throwing my money away like this. Aurgh.
I couldn't even use the "life's too up in the air" argument because as he correctly pointed out, if I need to sell it at least I'd get my money back.
Hrmm, this post has taken on a much different tone than I had originally intended. From carload of boys to buying property? I guess that's what's been on my mind lately. No time for carloads of boys; gotta think about being all responsible and stuff.
I feel old.
07:47 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
August 15, 2003 / Friday
Poopiehead Drivers 1
The lady who slowed waaay down in my lane just before the intersection and blocked my path even though the light was green and stayed there as the light turned yellow and then red because she was busy yapping on the cell phone and realized too late that she was about to blow her right turn and well screw whomever was behind her because she needed to turn right and even when she had come to a stop and cars were gathering didn't signal that she wanted to get over into the right lane until a good 20 seconds after the red light and whose rear view mirror was turned not toward traffic behind her but toward herself because she was probably doing her makeup just prior to getting on the phone and if it weren't for the fact that the driver in the right lane was nice and let her go when the light turned green again I would have honked my horn a LOT and thrown a little fit in my car and cursed her out at the top of my lungs and probably thrown a few emphatic middle fingers at her too, not that she would have noticed because she was very obviously oblivious to everything except for her right turn and her cell phone.
Poopiehead Drivers 2
The old fart who needed to make a left hand turn that required crossing over my lane and even though he didn't have much time to do it he did it anyway and when I held my line and my speed because I thought he was a dick for trying to turn in front of me even though there was no traffic behind me he gave me a stare as if it were his right to turn left and inconvience me, who was going straight and very obviously had the right of way.
10:30 PM | Rant/Whine:Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
April 20, 2003 / Sunday
Hello Brain, Are You In There? Wake Up!
So today I stop to get gas at the 76 on Serramonte, and the pump's broken. It accepts my credit card, it lets me select the gasoline grade I want, but no gas comes out. Okay, that's weird. I swipe my card again, select my 91 octane, and ... nothing. Fine, so I back up to the pump behind the crappy broken one. Same thing. What gives? Hey gas station attendant dude, your pump's broken. Broken? Yes, broken. So the gas station attendant dude comes to look at the pump. Turns out it's not broken. I'm the one who's broken. I had forgotten to lift the handle.
WTF?!
My other lame brain discovery of the day is that the lamp I thought was too dim really isn't too dim. I just never turned up the dimmer.
If you look up the word "dim" you'll see a picture of me next to it.
11:17 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
January 21, 2003 / Tuesday
North Beach ... In My Car!
So I finally drove my car through a decent chunk of the city. I even made it into North Beach. No, wait, get this, I even parked it in North Beach.
I'll pause here for a moment and let you marvel and ooh at the feat.
Ooh ... marvel ... ooh ...
And then I'll ruin it by telling you that this was at 8 AM on a Tuesday, not 7 PM on a Saturday, so there really isn't as much to marvel and ooh at as you thought.
Thanks for marvelling and oohing anyway. 'Tis much appreciated.
07:08 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
August 05, 2002 / Monday
Please please please please pleeease
Please please please please pleeease can we retest senior citizen drivers annually? I don't care how much more it will cost. Go ahead and increase my taxes. I'll gladly pay it to not have drivers on the road like the old lady who almost killed me on my drive to work today. Test number one: ability to drive over 40 miles per hour on the freeway. Test number two: ability to tell that when you're going 40 and the car in the lane you want to change into is going 70 that you should not cut in front of them with 20 feet to spare because if they slam on their brakes and swerve and don't happen to be lucky enough to have an open lane next to them then there's gonna be a big mess and dead people everywhere and it's all gonna be horrible and unhappy and ugly.
Of course, if you're the old lady from this morning you probably wouldn't have noticed. You would have putted away, not knowing that you'd just killed me, doing your 40 miles per hour down the freeway.
11:40 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
June 03, 2002 / Monday
Starting Fights With A Smile
Road rage Viv is back, except this time it was in a parking lot. Actually, I wasn't raging. I was smiling, believe it or not. Parking lot smiley Viv? That's not quite accurate either. Anyhow, it's an amusing story, so here goes ...
Bridgepoint parking lot in Foster City. Shiny new Honda Accord Coupe. V6? I don't remember. It was parked on the line on its right. The lot was crowded so I took the spot next to it. I made sure to center my car so I'd have room to get out.
Got out of my car, looked into the Accord. Automatic transmission. What a waste for such a racey looking car. Oh well.
Did my shopping and headed out into the parking lot. I noticed that the Accord didn't even have plates yet. I thought to myself, "What a shitty way to park such a new car."
The driver was sitting in the car. Apparently she was waiting for me. When I got to my car she came out and said, "You know, by parking so close to my car you actually nicked it. I've taken down your license number."
Riiiight. I'm the one who parked too close by parking in the middle of my spot. Sure sure. I very good naturedly showed her that 1. My doors have plastic guards on them and are incapable of nicking anything. 2. Even if I opened my door it didn't come close to reaching the so-called nick she was claiming I had made. 3. She was sitting on top of the line and I was centered in my spot.
"Well I don't know, that nick wasn't there before so you must have put it there." Sure lady, you're a freak. You know what? I'm gonna fuck with you.
She got in her car and started the engine. I opened my door and got in my car. I sat there and left the door open so she couldn't back out without damaging her precious paint job. She shouted, "Close the fucking door!" I looked over and smiled. She shouted other profanities at me. I smiled and gave her the finger. Shout shout shout. I smiled and gave her a palm up come here double wave. Haha, I felt like I was in that kickboxing movie, Bloodsport or Kickboxer or something. "I'm not gonna fight you!" Okay, well let me just sit here with the door open, then. Shout shout shout. Eventually I got bored and shut the door and smiled and waved her ta-ta.
I could tell she was pissed beyond belief. I quite enjoyed killing off precious minutes of her life. I got a sick little rush out of it. Heh.
08:01 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
April 18, 2002 / Thursday
Way To Go Old Guy!
I took 92 back up to work after the gym this afternoon. For those of you not familiar with that stretch of road, it's a 2 lane highway with lots of entrances/exits that give drivers little time to change lanes to get on and off. Sometimes it gets pretty stressful just driving past those exits 'cause there are so many cars cutting in and out of lanes.
Today I found myself behind some old 1950's-ish looking car with some old 80-ish looking man behind the oversized old car steering wheel. When I first saw him I was getting on 92 myself and I remembered thinking that the car was hauling ass for something so old. I pulled in behind him in the left lane. There were a lot of cars trying to get into the right lane from the next on ramp so many of the cars in the right lane were trying to cut left to make room. A little beige Corrolla made a pretty rude move and cut off the old guy by a few inches.
But the old guy wasn't even fazed. He tailgated that Corrolla like he was gonna run it over. But then, as we approached the big hill, he did something I don't think I'll ever be privileged enough to see again ...
The old guy cut off the guy on his right, accelerated like mad (uphill, mind you), and cut left to park himself just in front of the Corrolla. He didn't have room to cut off the Corrolla, but he was just like, fuck it, you make room for me or I'll run you off the road.
The Corrolla swerved and made room.
I went nuts in my car. "FUCK YEAH !! Kick his ass, old guy !!"
I wish I had it on tape. This post doesn't do it justice. I actually considered taking a picture when I first spotted the old guy, just 'cause his car and his little neat head and the big ole steering wheel were so classic. But alas, I had no camera. So ...
I drew the old guy and his car for you. Hopefully this will help you picture things better:
What have we learned today, kiddies? Don't mess with the senior citizens.
05:06 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
March 15, 2002 / Friday
Where'd All That Extra Fuse Go?
This morning I had a little in-car fit 'cause the stupid guy in front of me was blocking the FasTrak lane. I guess smiley bouncy Viv has worn off.
Damned fucker. Get the hell out of my way!
12:14 PM | Rant/Whine:Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
August 14, 2001 / Tuesday
More People Who Should Fucking Die
- or -
Road Rage Story of the Day
People who clog up the FasTrak lane at toll plazas should fucking die!
Like today, there was NO traffic in that lane except for this one guy who was going 5 MPH even though you can drive through at 35 MPH and still get picked up by the sensors. So I tailgated him. And then after the tolls he was still going 5 MPH. Stoopid marthafocker. So then I went to his left and blew past, making sure to glare at him with my "What the fuck are you doing, you farking idiot?" look as I went by. I guess that pissed him off. I saw him in my rear view speeding up and trying to get past all the cars to catch up with me. Unfortunately he was trying to do that in the middle of the 15 to 5 lane merge zone. Weave weave stop stop.
Ha ha! Suckah!
03:58 PM | Blank Of The Day:Rant/Whine:Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
July 15, 2001 / Sunday
Poor Little Roadkill Kitty
I went into San Francisco for lunch today. Drove down Junipero Serra. Saw a cat try to cross the street. Saw a white BMW change lanes. Saw their paths cross. Saw the cat roll over. Saw the cat twitching, looking at me helplessly. I couldn't stop. The street was too big and too busy. I looked in my rear view mirror. The cat had stopped twitching.
What could I have done? I thought and thought as I drove and drove. Was it still alive? I hoped not. It seemed too badly injured. Even if I had picked it up off the road it would have probably died a slow painful death. Better to leave it, I reasoned. I hoped for another more direct hit. More violent, but quicker, at least. What a horrible way to die.
Later, on my way home I took a detour to see if it was still there. It was, in a pile of fur and blood and guts. There was a lot less blood than I expected. Who delivered the final blow? I hope it was the car behind me.
04:48 PM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
June 28, 2001 / Thursday
Nice Example, CHP
I want to be a highway patrol officer so I can speed and weave and tailgate all I want and not get pulled over for it. It's like having a get out of jail free card for road pricks. Now if only they issued speedy 2-seaters instead of those damned Crown Victorias.
10:35 AM | Road Ramblings| Comments (0)
June 08, 2001 / Friday
Speed Limit ... You Mean Lower
Speed Limit, Right?
I was driving to work today and I realized that the slowest car on the freeway drives at the speed limit. Everyone else drives above it. So then I thought "hrmm... they don't always specify whether it's a maximum or minimum limit". They might mean it to be a maximum limit, but really it's a lower limit baseline. The real upper limit is X mphs above the posted number, yes?
