Pests
September 20, 2006 / Wednesday
My Squished Pets
I realized this morning that I can't keep a winged termite farm indefinitely. They're really fun pets and they're starting to smell funny. Today I must do the inevitable. I must squish them.
It makes me a little sad to have to do this. They seem so dopey and harmless. They get their wings stuck to the sides of the container and end up wiggling their legs in the air for hours until I free them.
But alas, I can't let them go. They'll fly off somewhere, get really fat, and produce a bazillion little termites to eat yet another chunk of my or someone else's building.
*squish*
*squish squish squish*
They're really gutsy. Literally. Gross!
08:56 AM | Pests| Comments (3)
September 17, 2006 / Sunday
My New Pets
When I got home from work on Tuesday, I found a few bugs in my room. They were brown, longish, and had wings even though they weren't able to fly. They were clumsily crawling up the walls and on the floor. I picked them up, squished them, and washed them down the drain.
When I got home from work on Wednesday, I found about fifteen of them in my room. After squishing the first few, I decided to collect them. I found a little Tupperware container in the kitchen, picked them up, dumped them in, and watched as they fluttered their clumsy wings and slipped trying to climb the plastic sides.
I decided to find out what they were. A quick search on Google pulled up pictures of bugs very closely resembling my new collection of ... termites! Further Googling revealed the following:
SoopahViv: the winged ones don't really destroy anything
SoopahViv: they're the ones hanging out 'til they fly and reproduce in the spring
SoopahViv: why the hell were they all coming out in my room then?
It must be spring in my room.
I looked at various termite images to find out what the different types were.
SoopahViv: omg look at the queen
SoopahViv: http://www.ivyhall.district96.k12.il.us/4TH/KKHP/1insects/bugpix/termites2.JPEG
Big fat insect egg factories. Gross!
More Googling ...
SoopahViv: "The winged forms of termites are the future queens."
SoopahViv: EWWWWW
SoopahViv: my termites are gonna get FAT!
I kind of want to find a male termite to drop in there. Not that Tupperware is exactly the best environment for making termite babies, but I'm strangely fascinated by the fact that those little clumsy winged things can grow to a bazillion times their size. I wanna see.
And yes, Terminix is coming tomorrow.
• • •
I gave them some paper to chew on yesterday and a few drops of water today. One of them keeps crawling over to the water and plopping down in it. I moved it out of the water but it crawled right back in. I think it's trying to drown itself.
03:09 PM | Pests| Comments (2)
June 17, 2006 / Saturday
No, I'm Not Paranoid
Spiders hanging out on my towel, next to the toilet paper, by the lock on my garage door, and, this morning, crawling toward me in the shower.
I think they're trying to eat me.
10:55 AM | Pests| Comments (1)
June 14, 2006 / Wednesday
It's Spider Season
Spiders are everywhere! Crawling on the ceiling at Aaron's place, running across the carpet at mine, dangling in the middle of the hallway at work, scrambling along the outside of my car, and spinning webs all over my motorcycle.
I find the tough looking black ones with the little red hourglasses on their backs particularly scary ...
11:02 AM | Pests| Comments (8)
November 19, 2005 / Saturday
Spider Eggs Revisited
There are dried spider eggs on the tape at the business end of my spider stick.
04:08 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
November 03, 2005 / Thursday
If You Weren't So Dumb, You Wouldn't Have To Die
My apartment has been, to my knowledge, mouse-free for months now. It was, at least, until last night. As I was sitting in my living room being geeky, I thought I saw a little mouse scamper through the hallway just outside the room. I was busy, so I thought nothing of it and went back to what I was doing.
A little later, from the same geeky spot, I saw another little mouse (it was probably the same one) scamper across the living room. The first little mouse may have been a hallucination, but this one was most definitely real. HELLO, I'M STILL IN HERE! It didn't even have the courtesy to wait until I'd gone to bed! That does it; the mouse must die.
Out came the snap traps, and the very aromatic jar of natural peanut butter that's just not quite artificial enough for my liking. I dabbed some pb on the traps, set them out, and this morning had a little dead mouse clipped and flipped over in the hallway. Bye bye, dum dum. Remember not to scamper across God's fully lit living room in heaven.
The entire hallway smelled of all natural honey peanut butter. What mouse could resist that? What ants could resist that? I quickly put the traps away. I hope I don't come home to an ant trail in the kitchen.
10:21 AM | Pests| Comments (1)
September 29, 2005 / Thursday
Spider In My Boots
Pulled my gear out of my Burton bag just now, and there was a dead spider in the boot compartment.
Of all the places to hide! That's almost as bad as hiding in my hockey bag!
Maybe I should start checking my skates before I put them on.
11:04 PM | Pests| Comments (1)
September 11, 2005 / Sunday
Microwave Accident
I nuked my lunch earlier today, and when I pulled the container out I saw an ant running around on the outside. I wondered how an ant could have survived 3+ minutes in the microwave. I took a closer look. Oh boy, this little fella did not look right. Where did his body go? I think perhaps it boiled away.
10:52 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
September 09, 2005 / Friday
Work Spider
There's a fat green-beigeish spider trying to figure out how to make a home out of an office sign about 10 feet from my door. I considered killing it, but as long as it stays away from my office I think I'm okay just leaving it alone.
It's kind of fascinating to watch, actually.
02:13 PM | Pests| Comments (4)
September 04, 2005 / Sunday
Water Ants
There are ants coming out of the overflow drain of my bathroom sink.
09:06 PM | Pests| Comments (3)
September 03, 2005 / Saturday
Hairspray Alternative
What this woman needs is a hockey stick.
02:47 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
August 25, 2005 / Thursday
Moving Ants
Yesterday, I discovered ant trails galore in the garage, in the cracks between the paneling. Half of the ants were carrying something, too. Something uniform and off-white.
Ant eggs.
Fortunately, my aunt came home right about the time I figured out that out. I eeked at her and she took care of it. Go auntie!
I wonder where the ants were moving to.
02:13 PM | Pests| Comments (3)
August 19, 2005 / Friday
Creepy Crawly Update
As of yesterday, I hadn't seen any spiders at my place for days. There appeared to be a steady stream of foraging ants in my bathroom and kitchen, though. "Must be 'cause I killed too many spiders," I thought as I 409'ed them away.
When I got home tonight, the first thing I did was check the kitchen. Not an ant to be found. "Phew," I thought, followed immediately by, "Ack, what if the spiders are back?"
Sure enough, I found one hanging out on the ceiling in my bedroom.
I think I'll be sleeping on my stomach tonight.
12:08 AM | Pests| Comments (2)
August 11, 2005 / Thursday
Maybe I Killed Too Many Spiders
I caught the ants trying to forge a new trail just now.
The last couple days, I've noticed random ants wandering around in my bathroom. I knew it was only a matter of time until they decided on a path. When I got out of the shower just now, I saw a bunch of ants on the floor in a line along the wall. They looked like they were trying to communicate with each other. I could almost hear them saying, "This way to the kitchen!"
I 409'ed their collective ass.
Jzeeeah.
01:47 AM | Pests| Comments (2)
August 09, 2005 / Tuesday
Spider Poop?!
I came home today to a big spider pooping on my wall.
I took pictures, but they're too gross to share.
• • •
Okay, fine, I'll share.
Ew.
10:09 PM | Pests| Comments (15)
August 02, 2005 / Tuesday
Ambush!
I'd gone a few days without any spider sightings at home, and I was starting to think the wave of eggy spiders was over. Boy was I wrong! They were lying in wait for me this morning! The biggest one I've seen to date was hanging out just inches from my door!
Hrmm, I didn't actually see it, at least not clearly. It was so big I managed to spot and kill it without my glasses or contacts. Not a very pleasant thing to see 5 seconds after getting up, but I had the routine down: grab paper towel, fold paper towel, grab spider, brace against hard surface, lean into it, pop spider, dispose.
Minutes later (contacts now in), I noticed another fat spider. This one was in the back corner of my room. It was a tricky spot -- I had laundry baskets on the floor below and there were other architectural quirks (remember, I live in a strangely constructed in-law unit) that made getting to the spider difficult.
Out came the special hockey stick, reserved for occasions such as this. One whack, and all that was left was a twitching spider stuck to the wall. It was, unfortunately, in the most unreachable of corners. I had to bust out some crazy climbing move to reach it. Go me.
I took pictures, but they didn't come out. Lucky you.
10:09 AM | Pests| Comments (6)
July 25, 2005 / Monday
TV Buddy
I was sitting there watching TV, brownish fuzzy blanket over me to keep warm, and I saw this bit of brownish blanket move at the bottom of my field of vision.
Yup, you guessed it, it was a spider.
I guessed that it was an eggy spider, judging by its size.
Squish. I was right.
11:03 PM | Pests| Comments (7)
July 22, 2005 / Friday
Yet Another Spider Post
I spent the whole evening looking for spiders every time I walked around and found none. Then, when I got out of the shower, there was one sitting on the floor waiting for me. Where was it hiding, and why did it finally decide to come out?
They dislike 409, but it doesn't seem to impair them much. It doesn't seem to weaken their exoskeleton, either. When I finally popped this one it made a sound like one of those pseudo firecracker things that go "Snap!" when you throw them on the ground.
Don't worry, I'm not going to start posting sound recordings of spiders popping.
01:14 AM | Pests| Comments (4)
July 20, 2005 / Wednesday
Hooray For Pledge
I asked my aunt if she's been finding an unusually high number of spiders upstairs. No, she said, but she did clean a bunch of cobwebs out recently ... in every part of the house but mine. Maybe that's what drove all the spiders into my place?
She offered to come down and help me hunt for spiders. I'm sure there are a ton lurking in the closets that are too small for me to use, so I'm going to take her up on that. Maybe this weekend, during the day, so we'll have plenty of light to see them.
I tried to count how many I'd killed in the last 5 days for her, but I couldn't. I did, however, kill 2 more during our 5-10 minute phone conversation.
Earlier tonight, I went out and bought myself some lemon Pledge, since it's rumored to repel spiders. I sprayed some along a windowsill, just as a wee tiny 8-legged thing was headed my way from the glass. It entered the Pledge zone and quickly turned back. Cool. I made sure to Pledge the foot of my bed.
I vacuumed, too. I vacuumed this past weekend, but I went over all the spider hotspots tonight. I ran the hose extension thingy under my bed. I thought I saw a big fat spider like the eggy one I killed last night. I didn't get a chance to verify, though. Whatever that was, it got sucked into the vacuum a split second later.
When I was little I used to wonder if spiders would grow inside the vacuum. I'm glad that I have one of those vacuums with the whirly see-through compartment. I don't think a spider could survive the whirl. Phew.
I'm hungry. I sure hope we're done with spiders for the night.
09:31 PM | Pests| Comments (4)
July 19, 2005 / Tuesday
That's It, I'm Calling Terminix
EW! Ew ew ew ew ewwww.
I killed a much larger version of the one handed routine kill spider just now.
It popped, it ooooozed, it twitched a little.
"This is one gutsy spider," I thought.
I figured its inverted guts would make a good addition to my dead spider set on Flickr (I think part of me is posting pictures of squished spider carcasses on the internet out of spider spite), so I brought it under the lamp to take photographs.
That spider was not oozing guts. It was oozing eggs.
I think I'm going to throw up.
What the hell is wrong with this house? Mice, ants, houseflies, and now spiders? Am I messy? Do I not clean? No! I'm a neat freak by a lot of people's standards! This is so not right!
So, LisaK, to answer your comment to the last post, I don't think I'll be sleeping much tonight, for fear of choking to death on spiders.
Speaking of which, I used to date someone who absolutely could not sleep on his back, because he's been afraid since he was little that a spider would drop into his mouth from the ceiling. I used to think that was silly.
I've never been able to sleep on my stomach, but I might be trying that tonight.
I should have taken Liz and Andrea up on their hotel room offer.
11:16 PM | Pests| Comments (16)
A Little Too Routine
One bite into my sandwich, I spied a spider on a nearby door. I grabbed a paper towel, wrapped it around the spider, squished it, and threw it out.
All while keeping my sandwich in my left hand.
It didn't even twitch. Not even for a feat like that.
10:27 PM | Pests| Comments (2)
Tuesday Haiku
spiders everywhere
killed so many last weekend
not good for karma
they're out to get me
creepy crawly on my neck
wha? that tickles! smack!
09:04 PM | Haikus:Pests| Comments (1)
July 17, 2005 / Sunday
Two More For The Count
I am seriously considering starting a blog counter for the spiders I kill at home.
01:18 AM | Pests| Comments (7)
July 16, 2005 / Saturday
Spider Karma
Looks like spiders aren't low impact on karma. I smacked one on my neck just now.
Of course I took a picture.
Ew.
12:36 PM | Pests| Comments (2)
If I Kill The Ants, Will The Spiders Go Away?
Just now, I went to put something away in my closet-that-I-never-use.
I've been wondering for weeks now where the random not-after-my-food ants have been coming from. Looks like I found where.
There were ants crawling everywhere in the corner. I 409'ed them and wiped them up.
Then I thought, where there are ants, there are spiders. Sure enough, a scary black spider was hanging out in the corner too. I squished it. I passed on taking a picture.
More ants started coming out. It looked like they had two entries into the corner. I squirted 409 into the holes. That stopped them dead in their tracks. Literally.
One returning ant ventured onto some 409 foam. He made it onto the foam, and then his legs melted. Bwahahahaha!
I sprinkled cinnamon over the entries for good measure.
I hope that takes care of it.
12:14 PM | Pests| Comments (3)
Serial Spider Killer
I think I kill an average of 1 spider a day. That's 365 spiders a year.
To make this icky task a little more tolerable, I've decided to photograph my kill.
I killed 2 tonight. The first one twitched a bit and died. The second one twitched a lot, and then it tried to get up and run away, except that it was stuck to the tissue. I guess spider guts are sticky.
Photoshop is cool. It makes icky dying spider pictures viewable.
If I keep this up I'm going to have to start a Flickr set just for inverted dying spider pictures.
I sure hope spiders are low impact on my karma.
01:18 AM | Pests| Comments (0)
July 14, 2005 / Thursday
Twitchy Spider
I squished (popped, actually) a super juicy daddy-long-legs-esque spider just now, and even though its guts were smeared all over the tissue, it kept twitching its leg at me. I squished it again for good measure and took a look. Still twitching.
That was a few minutes ago. I went back to check after writing that last paragraph.
Whaddaya know, it twitched its leg at me.
Great, and now it's bedtime.
01:34 AM | Pests| Comments (17)
May 14, 2005 / Saturday
Miceters, Inc.
Went to bed at 2, coughed for an hour, fell asleep at 3, woke up at 4:30 to the sound of what was most likely a mouse rustling around in my closet.
Turned on the light, made a lot of noise, and for good measure, put a CD on. John Digweed. It was less mellow than I expected. Oh well.
As I was lying there, listening to the little-too-dancey beats of John Digweed, hoping not to hear the little mouse in the closet again, I thought, "Maybe it's Sully from Monsters, Inc. Or Mike Wazowski trying to bust in and tell me a joke."
It's funny what our minds come up with when we're woozy from (lack of) sleep.
10:37 AM | Pests| Comments (0)
March 01, 2005 / Tuesday
Scurry Scurry Zzz ...
Got up at 5:30 today. Ugh.
I think there's a mouse in my closet. It makes noise in the middle of the night once or twice a week. I can't sleep knowing there's a little critter crawling around a few feet away from me.
Mousetraps! I need to set up my mousetraps!
I'm walking around feeling sleep deprived floaty today. How am I going to last 'til my hockey game tonight?
11:18 AM | Pests| Comments (10)
January 26, 2005 / Wednesday
Aaack! Get Ouuut!
No ants for a week, and then I came home today to:
1. Ants in my brand spankin' new honey bear.
2. Ants IN MY JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER!
NOBODY TOUCHES MY PEANUT BUTTER! (*#$)(*@!!!
07:34 PM | Peanut Butter:Pests| Comments (6)
January 12, 2005 / Wednesday
If It's Not One Pest ...
Tonight's fly count: 1
The ants are back. Joy.
12:25 AM | Pests| Comments (0)
January 10, 2005 / Monday
Hello? Mr. Fly? Where'd You Go?
The dumb thing about knocking a fly out of the air at my place is I can't find it when it lands on the dark grey carpet.
Fortunately, I got a good enough whack at it that it was still dazed and unable to fly off when I found it a good 3 minutes later.
In related news, I saw an ant in my kitchen today, and I felt this strange sense of relief. Huh.
09:23 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
Homeflies, Workflies
Houseflies at home, fruit flies (gnats, actually) at work.
I don't know where they're coming from, 'cause there's nothing gnat-friendly in my office, but I grab at least a gnat or two at work every day. It's actually kind of funny; I'll be typing, typing, and then all of a sudden I'll grab at the air and, well, have to go wash my hands.
Grabbing a housefly, now that would be gross.
10:47 AM | Pests| Comments (4)
January 09, 2005 / Sunday
Flies, Flies, More Flies
Returned home tonight to a front hallway full of flies. I saw 5 near the window at first, but upon closer inspection that 5 turned into 8. I took a picture to show you all. (You're welcome.)
I killed the 8, and decided to see if there were more in hiding. I moved the bag in front of the window and found 3 more.
I killed the 3, and realized some of them were probably hanging out behind the blinds. I lost count around then.
I whapped and I whapped. I whapped them lightly against the wall, I whapped them hard out of the air. In the end, all that was left was a pile of crumpled magazine bits. 1 housefly per crumple. I counted the crumples. 20.
Yuck.
On an amusing note, I told my aunt about it this afternoon and her solution was to open the door for two minutes and hope they would all leave. A lot of good that did!
On a less pesty note, the ants are MIA for the second night in a row.
J--Y-22: how 'bout the ants?
SoopahViv: dude, the ants are still gone!
SoopahViv: i'm so confused
J--Y-22: ants are now acting through flies. that's my theory
SoopahViv: awwww, )(*@#(*&(*&#$(&*@!!!
SoopahViv: don't say that!
SoopahViv: i really do think locusts will come next
SoopahViv: at least i can eat those
SoopahViv: hahaha
I guess I could have eaten the ants, too. I saw some movie when I was little where they made ant sandwiches. Wait, did I really see that, or am I making stuff up?
I dunno.
Blech.
10:03 PM | Pests| Comments (11)
January 08, 2005 / Saturday
What's Next? Locusts?
So I get home, I get the mail, I see that there's a new Crutchfield catalog, and I smile 'cause I quite like flipping through pages and pages of electronic goodness.
Then I get to the little hallway adjacent to the garage. It's a ~4x10 space with doors leading to the garage, the front door, my aunt's unit upstairs, and my unit downstairs. I put my aunt's mail in front of her door, and I see a housefly.
It's January. We're not supposed to have houseflies in January. Not only that, but we're not supposed to have full grown houseflies in January. This sucker is huuuge.
I roll up my catalog and give the fly a light whap. It falls, dazed. I flip to a page of less exciting electronics and tear off a portion with which to squish and dispose of the fly.
I look up, and there's another one. It's just as huuuge.
Another whap, another page tear.
Another huuuge housefly.
Another whap, another page tear.
What are we at now? I started getting really freaked out after the third one. Before today, I've seen only ONE housefly here since I moved in 10 months ago. WTF?!
By the end, I'd whapped 5 houseflies. Damned flies, you destroyed my catalog! My only solace is the fact that I did it in 6 whaps. The last one took an extra whap 'cause it was hiding in my doorframe. Ew.
Where the hell did they come from? How come I haven't seen any little flies the last few days? Why are they all in that little hallway? Ew, ew, ew, ew, and EW!
To top it all off, after I throw my now-ruined catalog away, I get inside my unit, I walk into the pseudo-kitchenette, and there's a big scary spider hanging out in the corner.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU EAT THE FLIES, AND WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU EATING THE ANTS?!" I asked, before I rolled up some other catalog and whapped it. This was a good one; I somehow managed to split it in two.
I'm really on edge right now. I'm afraid of what I'm going to find next.
• • •
I just went out to the hallway to double check its measurements, and killed two more huuuge houseflies.
I'm hungry, and I need food, but I'm having a tough time eating right now.
Ew.
08:43 PM | Pests| Comments (2)
January 04, 2005 / Tuesday
More Ant Killing Fun
Andrea forwarded me a list of ant-killing methods, and now I have a long list things (a lot of them spices) to try on the little buggers. My favorite:
Try instant grits. The theory is that the ants will take the grits to the Queen, she will ingest it, and when she takes water, she will explode. No queen, no colony.
Kersplat!
08:48 AM | Pests| Comments (2)
December 31, 2004 / Friday
Pic of the Day
It's miraculous! I sure hope it gets rid of those ants!
04:10 PM | Pests:Pic| Comments (0)
December 30, 2004 / Thursday
They're Nesting In The Ant Trap!
*@#$(*&@ ants! I put an ant trap near the corner they're coming out and when I went to check on it today, it looked like they had tried to make a home out of it.
I took a picture, but it makes my stomach turn, so you'll have to click to see it.
Nasty, huh? I'm not looking forward to dealing with it.
WTF?
07:26 PM | Pests| Comments (20)
Ant Killing Futon Potato
My goal today is not to leave the house. I think it'll be good for me, but really, I think that the fact that I think it'll be good for me says something is bad. Darnit.
It's rainy out, anyhow. Otherwise, I'd go out and try to run, or bike, or something. At the very least, I made it back to the gym this week. I've even been doing some cardio. I need it. In the last month, I've lost muscle, gained weight, and my tight jeans really are tight now. Crap.
There's an upside to this rain, though. I really like just sitting here listening to it. Now I understand why my dad used to drive to the beach by himself whenever it rained. It's hard to just sit and listen to the raindrops hit when you're in a house with two kids.
Here at home, the mice are nowhere to be found. They really do seem to have gone into hiding since I set the traps, which remain untouched. The ants, however, are in full foraging mode. There are enough scouts out that I actually see them. They're going after anything and everything, too. I don't keep water out anymore, I don't leave unwashed dishes in the sink ... they're getting desperate, I think, because this morning they decided to go after a months old dripping stain under my toaster oven. What??
I hope they don't find the honey roasted peanut buttery mousetraps.
I used to be nice to ants. I used to walk around or over them on the sidewalk. Now, I gleefully spray 409 on them and watch them shrivel before I wipe them and their tracks off my walls. I'm sorry that it's come to this, dumb ants.
10:48 AM | Pests| Comments (0)
December 11, 2004 / Saturday
*#)%$#) Ants!
They invaded my honey bear! The nerve! The little buggers made their way up the screw top grooves and everything. Where are they coming from? I must kill them all!
In related news, I set some mouse traps, but haven't caught any mice. Maybe they've learned that peanut butter means certain death.
Speaking of peanut butter, I bet the ants will go after that next. Now that the water and honey bear are gone they'll go after the next best thing: Jif creamy peanut butter & honey.
Damned pests! Go invade some dirty messy apartment instead!
10:46 PM | Pests| Comments (2)
December 03, 2004 / Friday
Water Ants
Andrea was right: the ants were after water. I remembered not to leave a glass of water out when I left this morning, and when I came back, no ants!
So how exactly do they know there's water there? It's not as if they can sniff it out right?
And why don't they go after the toilet bowl?
12:34 AM | Pests| Comments (7)
November 29, 2004 / Monday
Nutrient Water?
So I get home, I take my gear off, I grab my usual glass of water off my dresser, I take a gulp, I take a look at the dressertop, and there are ants everywhere. I look at my glass of water, and there are ants floating in it. Um ...
So what I don't get is, what are they after? I don't keep anything edible or sweet in my computer room. No ants in the kitchen. Dunno where they're coming in. Huh.
I'll be laying down ant traps next to the mouse traps, I guess.
WTF?!
07:14 PM | Pests| Comments (4)
October 30, 2004 / Saturday
Mousey Stick Chase
Pulled enough CDs out to prompt the stupid mouse to run out of the corner. It sprinted across the room and hid under my shoe rack. I poked and poked, finally saw a mousey tail, and poked at that. It sprinted under my bed, and now I can't get to it. Darnit, darnit, darnit!
11:22 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
Mousey Stick Showdown
The stupid mouse in the corner wants out. It keeps inching out past the CDs, sees me waving my hockey stick at it, and goes back into hiding. We've been doing this for 30 minutes now. It'll get out in the end, but for the time being I'm having fun messing with it.
11:00 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
Stop Looking At Me!
The stupid mouse is over in the corner looking at me from under my CD tower. What the hell does it want? Go away!
Adding an item to my list of things to whack with my spare hockey stick:
- scary spiders
- stupid mice
The questions is, would I really be able to take a whack?
10:20 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
Stupid Mouse!
So I'm sitting here watching the Cal game, I see a little mouse enter the room, it tries to hide next to my goalie gear bag, I go over and pick up the bag and drop it on the mouse, I decide I don't want a rotting dead mouse under the bag, I lift the bag, and the little fucker runs over my foot and escapes out the door.
08:15 PM | Pests| Comments (2)
October 10, 2004 / Sunday
Ack! They're back!
The mice are back! One of them was hiding in my pile of stuff to sell (there is NOTHING edible in there) and chewing on something at 4:45 this morning. I woke up, turned on the light, more chewing. I kicked the pile. The chewing stopped, but no mouse ran out. I went back to bed. More chewing. I whacked at the pile from bed (yes, it's that close). The chewing stoped again. Seconds later, more chewing. I started talking to the damn thing. "Be quiet, will ya?! Go away!" It ignored me. The nerve!
Forget selling, I think that pile is going to Goodwill just so I can be rid of it.
That, and I'm buying some mousetraps.
10:08 AM | Pests| Comments (0)
August 20, 2004 / Friday
They're Getting Bold!
It's the middle of the day, the sun's up, my TV's on, I'm sitting here working on my laptop, and I *swear* I just saw a mouse run by. I'm pretty sure it's not the drugs.
• • •
Oh crap, I see him. He's looking at me. Hey! Get away from my CDs!
12:39 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
August 16, 2004 / Monday
Stupid Mice! Go Away!
I've been finding more evidence of mousey activity at my place lately. Looks like my mouse karma's about to get really really bad.
09:38 AM | Pests| Comments (0)
July 31, 2004 / Saturday
No Mouse Today!
Hooray! Nothing in the remaining glue trap! I let out a huzzah and threw the thing in the trash. I hope that's the end of it. I don't want to kill any more mice.
01:19 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
July 30, 2004 / Friday
Mouse Update
The good news is, he's dead. The bad news is, it looks like he died a horrible suffocating death. That sucks, to die in your own excrement.
He somehow managed to squirm himself loose from one patch of glue, only to end up on his side in another patch of glue.
I have one glue trap left. It's still out, in case there are more mice. I sure hope there aren't. If it lasts the night mouse-free, I'll breathe a sigh of relief and throw it out.
08:11 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
Mousey Guilt
sorry little mousey
i don't know what to do
i feel terrible that you're stuck
but i don't know how to save you
i put you in a bag
hoping you'd suffocate
but instead
i think it's more like suffercate
this morning you squeaked at me
what were you saying?
i shudder to think
that maybe you were praying
i'm sorry, i'm sorry
i'm a poopiehead, i know
i hope that you're dead now
off to mousey heaven you go
11:15 AM | Pests| Comments (0)
Poor Mousey
I caught the mouse (I hope there's only one). It was lying there looking up at me this morning. I was hoping it was dead, but when I came near it twitched. I think it was trying to wiggle, but since it's hopelessly stuck it came out as a twitch.
What do I do with it? It's not dead. I feel bad. I knew I'd feel bad. I have trouble squishing bugs, even.
It just squeaked at me. Twice. 
Sorry mousey. I wish you hadn't pooped near my new catcher.
I was going to ride into work today, but I'm having major conscience issues and would probably lose focus and kill myself.
Siiigh.
08:29 AM | Pests| Comments (0)
45 Minutes After Thursday Cantonese Haiku
loe shue tsai, say guai!
tseen mahn lay hahk say gnoh lah!
gow gnoh lahp sahp toong
sahm deem gay. gum cho!
jue goo lik? sik lay goh tao!
gnoh geh! mmm bay lay!
tow seen gnoh wun doe
yut dook loe shue see. dai dahm!
jook jue lay! say lah!
A haiku for the mouse, of course!
little mouse, bastard!
you scared me the other night!
messin with my trash
3 something. so loud!
chocolate? eat your own head! (can't translate!)
mine! won't give to you!
earlier i found
mouse poop on my gear. the nerve!
i catch you! you die!
12:45 AM | Haikus:Pests| Comments (0)
July 29, 2004 / Thursday
Peanut Butter Trap Nightmares
Had to part with some of my beloved peanut butter just now for the mouse. As I was preparing the trap, I thought, huh, I'm like a big mouse. I like chocolate, I like cheese, and I looove peanut butter. Then I thought, gosh, wouldn't it suck if I got lured toward a giant gob of peanut butter, and right when I got to the prize, I got stuck?
Glad I'm not a mouse.
09:48 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
What Kind Of Cleaning Service Is This?!
Mouse poop near my hockey gear?! I was hoping that I could just be more careful about leaving food out, and that the mouse would go away on its own. But nooo, it had to go and poop near my stuff! Why not my pile of for sale stuff? Stupid mouse, now I'm going to have to kill you.
My name is SoopahViv. You pooped on my gear. Prepare to die.
For the record, I don't remember much from The Princess Bride, but someone sure does, and won't stop saying that no matter how many times I say, "Stop saying that!"
Go figure.
• • •
BTW, the borrowed gear does not live near the gear that's getting pooped on, in case you're a benevolent gear lender and are concerned about the welfare of your items (as I would be).
08:59 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
Middle of the Night Cleaning Service
This mouse thing is going to require some adjustment. I left a few crumbs on the floor late last night, thinking I'd vacuum them up when I got home today. Well, I'm home, and the floor looks spotless. That little dude cleaned up better than I managed to. I had actually tried to clean up by hand, but ended up smearing the stuff into the carpet. The smears are gone, too. Huh.
07:55 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
July 28, 2004 / Wednesday
Eeek! A Mouse!
Last night, in the middle of the night, I heard a noise. I thought maybe it was the dog (my aunt's friend's dog was over earlier that night). I went back to sleep. I heard the noise again. This might have happened a few times, but finally I got up and turned on the light. I looked in the trash can a few feet away from my bed. A couple dark chocolate pastilles I had tossed in there a few days ago were on the floor next to the trash can with nibble marks around the edges. My trash can is about 2 feet tall, so I had a moment of, holy crap, something big is in there! No sign of the noisy creature. I bumped the trash can, and out ran a mouse! He jumped up on my bed, sprinted from one end to the other, and disappeared into the corner of ... newly purchased goalie gear.
Great.
It was 3:30, so I went back to sleep.
11:25 AM | Pests| Comments (0)
April 30, 2004 / Friday
Eight-Legged Cannibals
I looked in my bathtub before my shower just now and saw a little shriveled spider corpse on the bottom. I pulled my head just over the edge and saw a big fat scary spider on the side. Sucks to be the little spider. Ha, I made a pun.
This is the second scary spider I've seen at my place in the last few days. They're fat and black and have thick legs and take up more space than a penny. I hope there isn't one waiting for me in bed.
01:38 AM | Pests| Comments (0)
February 24, 2004 / Tuesday
Ewww! Schpydah!
I spied and killed a spider that was crawling between my router and wireless hub a couple nights ago. I pulled the wireless hub off just now, and it turns out the spider had been building a little nest in there. Gross.
06:04 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
December 27, 2003 / Saturday
Tea Delicacies
So I'm drinking my tea in a tall glass. I see what I think is a bit of tea leaf floating at the top. It's the only bit of debris in my tea. It's kind of ant sized. I still think it's a tea leaf, but I try to get a better look at it anyway. I move it into the light. Lo and behold the bit of tea leaf has legs ... six of them! Poor little dude. He must have been the glass when I poured the tea in.
I was 70% done with the tea when I noticed him. I somehow got him stuck to the side of the glass a few sips later. No extra protein for me.
11:13 PM | Drinks:Pests| Comments (0)
December 22, 2003 / Monday
Hooray For Hockey Sticks
If it weren't for my hockey sticks I wouldn't know what to do about scary spiders hanging out way up high on my wall. I think I used to cower until I could find some brave soul to get rid of them for me. These days, I pick up a stick, flip it over, flick the wrist, and BAM! ... no more spider.
10:28 PM | Hockey:Pests| Comments (0)
June 17, 2003 / Tuesday
Hockey Sticks For The Home
You know what's good for killing those hard-to-reach spiders?
Hockey sticks.
One flick of the wrist and Bam! ... no more spider.
11:57 PM | Hockey:Pests| Comments (0)
September 25, 2002 / Wednesday
Whap!
Spiders spiders everywhere! I kill about 2 a day in my new place. They're all scary and sturdy looking and the like to hang out way up high. I'm getting pretty good at killing them with my hockey stick. One flick of the wrist and Bam! ... Bye bye scary spider. Hooray for hockey sticks.
09:55 AM | Pests| Comments (0)
September 01, 2002 / Sunday
Work Spiders
There's freakin' spiders everywhere at work. What if they stowaway in my stuff and go home with me and eat me in the middle of the night? Dah!
10:26 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
June 19, 2002 / Wednesday
Sith Spider
More evidence that I'm crazy: I just battled a spider with a lightsaber.
06:43 PM | Pests| Comments (0)
September 09, 2001 / Sunday
Spiderview
A scary jumpy spider crawled out of my monitor and before I could catch it it crawled back in. What if it's breeding? What if I'm at my computer one day and lots of baby spiders come crawling out and eat me? Oh my farking doG! Eeek!
03:31 AM | Pests| Comments (0)
July 18, 2001 / Wednesday
Eeek! Schpydah!
I just came across this scary quarter-sized orangey-red spider with a big fat abdomen on my bathroom floor! Red, I tell you, red! It was waiting there to eat me! Aaack!
