GTI :: Neurosis
November 19, 2005 / Saturday
Whoa! You're On My Bumper, Dude!
I watched someone park by braille on my bumper today, and I didn't completely wig out.
Go me.
Boo blind driver.
04:06 PM | Neurosis| Comments (1)
August 29, 2004 / Sunday
Dream Dream Dreeeam ...
If my dream memory serves me correctly, I have had bad dreams every night since I got my wisdom teeth removed. Fortunately, these days it's all car stuff (as opposed to worms in my mouth). Last night I dreamt that I absolutely destroyed (scraped) my current rims along a curb. Welp, I dream thought, I guess I won't be selling those after I put my new ones on.
Just when I thought I was getting over my curb paranoia, I go and make a purchase that starts it up all over again ... 5 times worse.
When do the good dreams start?
10:11 AM | Dreams:Neurosis:Wisdom Teeth| Comments (0)
August 26, 2004 / Thursday
Almost Forgotten Bad Dreams
I had bad dreams last night, too, but they were about my car, so I think things are starting to return to normal. Heh.
07:10 PM | Dreams:Neurosis:Wisdom Teeth| Comments (0)
July 23, 2004 / Friday
Ack! Go Away!
They're digging up the parking lot at work. I parked my car waaay out, toward the far end of the parking lot. There were plenty of spaces all around me. So why, then, did the piece of crap mid 80's Ford Taurus looking thing park next to my car?
It must be my car's magnetic personality. 
11:08 AM | Neurosis| Comments (0)
June 03, 2004 / Thursday
Car Crunching In La La Land
I had another car nightmare earlier this week. I've been too busy to remember to write about it. Fortunately, I related it to a couple people in lunchtime conversations, so I remember enough of it to record in my blog.
So I'm driving. It's nighttime. I decide to park. There's a spot on the street I can just pull up to. I do. I try to stop. The pavement is wet. I skid. I run the hood of my car into the tall bumper of the car in front of me.
I get out of my car. I look at my crunched hood. Instead of freaking out, I think to myself, "I guess this means I don't have to wash my car all the time anymore."
Gee, do you think I might be getting sick of taking care of my car?
I ran it through its first automatic wash today. Yes, of course it was touchless.
Too bad bugs don't come off without scrubbing.
09:33 PM | Neurosis| Comments (0)
March 30, 2004 / Tuesday
Yet Another Parking Lot Rant
Why can't people park between the lines? I like to park toward the outer edge of end spots. Today, I came out to my car at lunch to find that someone had parked their car on top of the line next to my spot. You poopiehead, why do you do that? I'm making space for your door, not for your car! If you take up that space with your car then you'll swing your door into my car! Keep your car between the lines, dammit!
When I got back from lunch, I parked my car out and away from all the other cars. I bet I'll come out at the end of the day* and find a Passat parked next to me.
* I know I said I wouldn't ever use that phrase, but this is legit! Ain't no cliché here!
02:49 PM | Neurosis:Rant/Whine| Comments (0)
March 28, 2004 / Sunday
Vroom!
I was suffering from motorcycle withdrawal, so I took my car on a little twisty road detour on my way to hockey today. I am sooo glad I put the rims back on! Hellooo happy handling!
Good for my car that I can go fast on twisties with it. Bad for me that I can drive faster than I can ride on those same roads. It is, however, a minor consolation that I outdrove the guy on the motorcycle behind me.
Can we make a rule that people who drive the posted speed limit on twisty roads should not be allowed to drive them on weekends? One lame-O stationwagon was all it took to ruin what would have been the beeeautiful stretch of Woodside between Alice's and 280.
More car-related babble: A new AutoZone just opened in Fremont. It's nice! It's about 10 times nicer than the ghetto Kragen across the street from it.
Strange that I know auto parts shops in Fremont. It's not even my hood!
And a car-related question-rant to the guy in the Passat this afternoon: If the parking lot is 5% full, and I park more than halfway out from where all the cars are concentrated, why the hell must you park your car in the space next to mine?! Can't you tell I'm trying to keep my car away from all the other cars in the lot?! What are you, some kind of parking lot sadist?!
10:00 PM | Neurosis:Rant/Whine:Vroom!| Comments (0)
March 24, 2004 / Wednesday
Mission Blurb 1: Cha Cha Cha
Kimmy and Greggy were in town and we went out for dinner last night. Got to eat at my favorite tapas place 'round these parts, Cha Cha Cha. As usual, I ate waaay too many crispy potatoe chunks. How do they make them taste so good?
Mission Blurb 2: Ti Couz
After dessert we speedwalked (it was cold out) a few blocks over to my favorite crepe place 'round these parts. Orange sauce and orange butter and chocolate, yummm. Why don't we go there (and to the other place) more often?
Mission Blurb 3: Greasy Fools On My Car
I know why. It's 'cause the neighborhood sucks. Someone rubbed their greasy self all over my rear passenger's side window while we were gone, and on the way home I had to stare at the glare from their nasty smudge mark every time I changed lanes to the right. Needless to say, I cleaned off my windows before I left for work this morning.
That reminds me, since putting my rims back on and taking my motorcycle out of commission I've once again become totally neurotic about my car. It may end up costing me money, too, because along with the neuroticism comes an urge to mod anything and everything I can on it.
Coilovers! I want coilovers!
08:38 AM | Food:Neurosis| Comments (0)
January 31, 2004 / Saturday
Bad Dream Interrupted
Friday morning I had a dream that a friend of mine from back home was in my GTI, and this friend opened the side of the car door into the corner of one of the brick planters outside of Doug's house. I knew it was damaged, and I couldn't bear to look. Instead, I was so upset that I ran around a marketplace screaming at the top of my lungs. During my upset marketplace visit, my alarm went off. I'd never been so relieved to hear my alarm in my entire life.
Good Dream Interrupted
Saturday morning I dreamt that some fuzzy purple monster was running a marathon, and he was kicking ass, and in the end he won, and I was there at the winners' area, and he took off his fuzzy purple monster head and he was a cute buff guy instead, and then I was helping him get the purple monster suit off his cute buff body, and I got to his cute buff chest, and then my phone rang.
09:59 AM | Dreams:Neurosis| Comments (0)
January 20, 2004 / Tuesday
Dream Dream Dream 1: I Can Swim!
So I show up to gym class, and we're at a pool. It's the water version of the presidential fitness tests or something. We all have little cards to keep track of our score for the various tests, which involve acrobatic movements in the water. I'm thinking, oh great, I can't swim. I run in to Maryam, who lived on my floor in the dorms freshman year. I seem to remember her as someone who was afraid of everything, including water. Turns out she joined a posh gym with an excellent pool and has since learned to swim. Well, if Maryam can do it, so can I. I hop in, fully expecting to sink and need rescue, but the next thing I know I'm swimming my way to the other end of the pool. I hop in again later, and backstroke my way across the pool. I can swim! Cool! Now if only I could magically work that into real life.
Dream Dream Dream 2: Underwear Buddy
In case you care, I'm working my way through my dreams somewhat randomly. I'm writing about them in the order in which I remembered them. I remembered dream 1 when I woke up, but didn't remember this one until I was, well, putting on my underwear.
Plain and simple, one of my hockey homies from a past team was in my dream, and she was helping me with some art project thing, and for some reason she wore the same type of underwear I happened to be wearing. Now, the fact that I could see her underwear means that she wasn't wearing pants or even much of a shirt, but in my dream that was normal. Who needs clothes anyway?
Dream Dream Dream 3: Mirror Paranoia
I think after the underwear thing I headed back down to my car, which was in the underground garage of the aforementioned underwear buddy's apartment complex. I got in, prepared to back out of my space, looked in the passenger side mirror, and almost had a heart attack when I realized it wasn't my mirror. I looked at the driver side mirror and realized that someone had come and stolen my $200 European split mirrors and replaced them with cheapo Kragen-grade generic mirrors. Why anyone would even bother to put replacements in I don't know. The funny thing about the generics was they were not convex, but flat, and behaved like a concave mirror, as it somehow magnifed and reduced the visible area behind me.
I remembered that one on 280 this morning, right as I was passing the Daly City Krispy Kreme exit. That memory was followed by a moment of great relief and happiness.
09:49 AM | Dreams:Neurosis:Water| Comments (0)
December 02, 2003 / Tuesday
Wanted: Parking Lessons For Coworker
Someone at my company needs parking lessons. Our parking spaces are large enough to comfortably hold Surburbans, and yet this person can't seem to get her sedan into a space without being diagonal or on the line. Is it that hard to center yourself, or is it below you now that you're big and important?
Oops, I wasn't going to name names, but I guess I kinda just did.
I find that her poor parking habits affect where I park my car. The best space in the lot was open when I came back from my doctor's appointment, but the space next to that was open too, and I knew that when a certain someone came back there'd be a 50% chance that she'd take the space next to mine. I then opted for the second best space, since that one had a car already parked next to it.
Does she park like this in other parking lots, too? I'm surprised her car's not all dinged up. Then again, I haven't taken that close a look. It's not really a cool enough color for me to care.
09:46 AM | Neurosis| Comments (0)
November 09, 2003 / Sunday
Parking Lot Car Nightmare
Last night, I dreamt that I parked my car in the parking lot at work, and when I got back to it at the end of the day someone had stolen my wheels and my rear bumper and the entire front end (body work, frame, and all engine bay contents). All that was left was the cabin of the car, which was untouched. Not a scratch! I kept waiting for whoever had done it to come put everything back but instead piles of wrecked car (other cars) would periodically come and shove up against my car.
That's what I get for realizing that my car has a gazillion removable exterior pieces. It's amazing more things don't get stolen off parked vehicles.
09:44 PM | Dreams:Neurosis| Comments (0)
September 24, 2003 / Wednesday
"Compact" Truck Fucker
You know what really pisses me off? When I park way over to the side in an end space and then some fucker comes by and parks over the line and winds up in my space. It's my fucking space! I'm trying to get away from you freakin' idiots! Learn to fucking park! And goddammit, your F250 does not belong in the "Compact" space next to my car. When I can barely get into my car because you're fucking 10 inches from my door, it means you're too fucking close. Do you know how hard it was for me to drive away without letting the air out of your tires or scratching the hell out of your brand spanking new not even license plated "Compact" truck? I hope you @#$&*%@*(&$!
Insert terrible unbloggable fate above.
08:57 PM | Neurosis:Rant/Whine| Comments (0)
August 12, 2003 / Tuesday
The Rugrats Return
Oh no! The kids are back! The older one is on rollerblades today. His little sister is on bike again, falling over every 20 feet or so. Keep away from the red GTI ...
• • •
What's wrong with me? I'm supposed to aww at how cute they are, not sit here and worry about their running into my car.
04:16 PM | Neurosis| Comments (0)
August 11, 2003 / Monday
Parking Lot Rugrats
There are little kids riding their bikes in our parking lot. The little one keeps falling over. Makes me worry about the cars.
I don't know which is worse, golfballs dropping from the sky or kids crashing into car sides.
Whoo. I rhymed.
02:03 PM | Neurosis| Comments (0)
July 17, 2003 / Thursday
Deer Tackling
Yesterday after lunch I said if one of our parking lot deer headed for my car I'd probably tackle it.
I almost had to make good on that just now.
I'm glad the little dude figured out my car wasn't edible. Phew.
• • •
After changing its mind on my car the deer headed over to a nearby black Infiniti. Perhaps it really DOES eat cars, and was actually dissing my car by walking away from it (Bastard!). Or maybe it's saving my car for dessert. 
Evidence: Caught grazing!
So what does it do? It shakes its butt at me.
Next thing you know it'll whip out a carton of eggs and start throwing.
04:29 PM | Neurosis| Comments (0)
June 12, 2003 / Thursday
Shopping Carts
Every time I see a stray shopping cart rolling away in a parking lot I think of that commercial where the guy parks his car and walks away and then a shopping cart rolls toward it and all of a sudden you see the guy flying back into the shot from the side of the screen to tackle the cart.
Stupid cart. Stay away from the pretty red car.
09:34 AM | Neurosis| Comments (0)
February 02, 2003 / Sunday
Car Fun / Car Nightmares
Last night on my drive home from Monterey I found a GTI to play with. It was just like my car, only silver. Blink blink, he said, let's go! When the road opened up, we went. And then a cop pulled onto the freeway and we had to stop playing. Dear Mr. Cop, please drive around with your radar on in the future so I can hear you coming. By the way, you make driving unfun. Poopiehead.
I made it past 110 before the cop sighting. What's my theoretical top speed? 139? 29 more to go!
• • •
Last night I dreamt that someone had replaced one of my wheels with the type you find on other GTIs. Yes, just one. The rear right one, to be exact. So in my dream I was standing there wondering why on earth someone would swap out just one wheel. Then I wondered whether I should just leave my car there so they can come back and swap the other three so I'd have a matching set. Then my dream ended. Roh.
10:58 AM | Dreams:Neurosis:Vroom!| Comments (0)
November 24, 2002 / Sunday
Thingamabobber of the Day
parking lot paranoia
A strange ailment commonly found in new car owners. Symptoms include a tendency to park in the most remote space possible in public lots, repeated uncontrolled thoughts of possible damage to the vehicle during their absence, and the urge to knock down anyone or anything that gets too close to their vehicle.
Treatment: None. Symptoms usually subside after the first damage or when the owner no longer considers their car pristine.
• • •
SoopahViv: i'm paranoid
SoopahViv: oh that reminds me
SoopahViv: thingmabobber of the day
P---B-----: i would be too
P---B-----: eh?
SoopahViv: ... bloggint!
SoopahViv: -t+g
P---B-----: i thought that was short for "blogging it!"
SoopahViv: hehe
SoopahViv: should be!
SoopahViv: yesh
SoopahViv: i bloggint!
10:11 PM | Neurosis:Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
November 21, 2002 / Thursday
Where'd All Those Cars Come From?
I purposely parked my car away from everyone when I came in today, and now all of a sudden there are five cars parked around me. You guyses on either side of me, shoo!
