Blank Of The Day :: Thingamabobber
July 27, 2006 / Thursday
Thingamabobber of the Day
power peer
A colleague who can lift a lot, e.g. Mr. Brearms.
- or -
A long and strong stare through a wee little hole.
- or -
Someone who sounds like a pressure washer when they pee.
This post brought to you by my coworker with the pointy black shoes and bellbottom jeans.
12:44 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
February 23, 2005 / Wednesday
Thingamabobber of the Day
flying pooh
The thing that might hit you if you try to walk through the chunk of hallway that separates Big V and little v's offices.
*toss*
05:14 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
August 30, 2004 / Monday
Thingamabobber of the Day
sneeze amnesia
- when you sneeze and forget who you are
- when you sneeze and forget that you sneezed
- when you sneeze and forget what you were doing at the time of sneeze
- when you forget how to sneeze
I suffered a bout of that just now. Which one? I can't remember.
11:07 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
March 28, 2004 / Sunday
Thingamabobber of the Day
rink rat
A rodent that lives in a hockey rink.
- or -
Andrea.
Hehe.
Go ask her yourself.
As an added bonus, it's fun to say. Rink rat rink rat rink rat. See.
10:06 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
November 03, 2003 / Monday
Thingamabobber of the Day
blog jumping
A competition where you try to jump over as many blogs as you can.
- or -
An activity where you jump from blog to blog for fun.
- or -
Something you shout when you spot a blog about to jump.
- or -
The thing that you do when all the blogs you read aren't linked from one blog, and you have to go from blog A to blog B to get to blog C, etc.
Apparently my slow-loading comments were causing some people to blog jump more than usual. Well, the list is back, and it doesn't take freakin' 10 seconds to load! I hope this knocks a few jumps off everyone's blog surfing routes.
Funny that 10 seconds is such a long time these days.
• • •
Also funny that it was really more like 5 seconds. Felt like 10, that's all.
11:09 AM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
October 26, 2003 / Sunday
Thingamabobber of the Day
petonthehead hog
A hog that gives petontheheads.
- or -
A hog that is there for you to petonthehead.
- or -
Someone (named Doug) who requests (and receives) a lot of petontheheads.
Question for you all. Should the plural of "petonthehead" be "petontheheads" or "petsonthehead"? Does it work like "attorneys general"? I mean, on one hand, it's basically a pet, which would mean that "pet" should be pluralized to "pets", but then again, by making it one word it's its own thing and perhaps it should be pluralized as a whole.
Should I do a poll? Should I ask Patling, from whom I picked up this word? Should I just listen to what my fingers are telling me? They don't like to type "petontheheads". They seem to prefer "petsonthehead". Maybe they're right, but my brain seems to think otherwise.
09:59 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
September 05, 2003 / Friday
Thingamabobber of the Day
internet rage
That thing that happens when you're on your computer and all of a sudden you lose your internet connection and you just know it has something to do with the fact that the cable guy is out there 20 feet up on a pole pulling stuff out of a box and you want to go out there and start screaming at him from your balcony to hook you back up, dogfarkingdarnit!
05:39 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
June 26, 2003 / Thursday
Thingamabobber of the Day
matzohball fight
When a bunch of people throw a bunch of matzohballs at each other.
- or -
When a bunch of matzohballs fight each other.
For some reason that makes me think of Ultimate Matzohball Fighting. Tae Kwon Do matzohballs against kickboxing matzohballs. I wonder how you'd call the match. Perhaps when one of the Matzohballs goes splat?
What's a matzohball? It's like a matzoh ball, only squished together so you can say it really fast.
Matzohball!
• • •
Anyone out there want to draw me some fighting matzoballs?
12:55 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
March 30, 2003 / Sunday
Word / Phrase / Thingamabobber
Word / Phrase / Thingamabobber of the Day fan? You'll love this site.
08:41 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
March 25, 2003 / Tuesday
Thingamabobbers of the Night
buttock contusion
The little injury of mine that's got me sidelined for the next 3 months.
intramuscular hematoma
The pocket of blood somewhere deep in the muscle that's responsible for the grapefruit-sized protrusion coming out of my butt.
11:37 PM | Injuries:Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
January 16, 2003 / Thursday
Thingamabobber of the Day
seasonal shrub
Often mistaken for Christmas trees, seasonal shrubs are early winter plants found in the homes of people who celebrate Festivus, a holiday for the rest of us, and wish to decorate their homes with something more colorful and aromatic than a steel pole.
Like Christmas trees, seasonal shrubs can be decorated in various ways, including but not limited to adornment with strings of popcorn, strands of ribbon, tinsel, colorful glass spheres, frilly paper cuttings ...
Also like Christmas trees, they're a bitch to clean up after, especially when they start shedding. Seasonal shrub needles everywhere! Everywhere!
Okay, I go now.
02:06 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
January 14, 2003 / Tuesday
Thingamabobber of the Day
cube contamination
The thing that happens when a coworker comes into your cube and stinks it up with his or her cologne or perfume, and then proceeds to touch and poke at your screen, leaving smudge marks from his or her fingers on the surface, which, by the way, I find to be quite annoying, especially since they're someone else's smudge marks and not mine, and you know, I get the feeling that this particular person who just contaminated my cube does the screen smudging thing on purpose and gets some sick little sense of satisfaction out of knowing that they have just left their mark on my monitor.
Note to self: Buy a big powerful fan so that next time this happens you can turn it on and blow all the headache-inducing cube-contaminating air out. Whoosh!
11:45 AM | PSA/NTS:Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
December 14, 2002 / Saturday
Thingamabobber of the Day
Jar-Jar bow out
It's kind of hard to explain, but our waitress at the Texas Roadhouse tonight did it. A "thank you" accompanied by a step back and some smooth Binks-like motion of the neck. Teddio can imitate it pretty well. Prolly 'cause he thought she was cute and was studying her every move. Heheh.
• • •
Word of the Day
Binks-like
See above for usage example. 
• • •
Proclamation of the Night
I've got the bestest brothas in the world.
Bo! 
10:58 PM | Blank Of The Day:Thingamabobber:Word| Comments (0)
November 24, 2002 / Sunday
Thingamabobber of the Day
parking lot paranoia
A strange ailment commonly found in new car owners. Symptoms include a tendency to park in the most remote space possible in public lots, repeated uncontrolled thoughts of possible damage to the vehicle during their absence, and the urge to knock down anyone or anything that gets too close to their vehicle.
Treatment: None. Symptoms usually subside after the first damage or when the owner no longer considers their car pristine.
• • •
SoopahViv: i'm paranoid
SoopahViv: oh that reminds me
SoopahViv: thingmabobber of the day
P---B-----: i would be too
P---B-----: eh?
SoopahViv: ... bloggint!
SoopahViv: -t+g
P---B-----: i thought that was short for "blogging it!"
SoopahViv: hehe
SoopahViv: should be!
SoopahViv: yesh
SoopahViv: i bloggint!
10:11 PM | Neurosis:Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
October 25, 2002 / Friday
Brimming With Blog Thoughts
My head almost blew up at the gym today. Too many blog thoughts attacked me all at once. Oh, it was great! I grabbed a pen and scribbled everything down. And now I shall try to decipher and elaborate on my chickenscratch ...
Titles And Stuff
Just a reminder of the mega-post-titles-and-stuff system.
Thingamabobber of the Day
blog torture
How do you blog torture someone? Let me count the ways ...
- Hook the victim up to electrodes and make them blog continuously. Zap 'em if they stop or slow their blogging rate.
- Hook the victim up to electrodes and make them read bad blogs for hours on end. Zap 'em if they look away or fall asleep. If you're feeling really mean, make them write blog reports.
- Make printouts of your favorite blog, smother with hot sauce, and force feed to your favorite blog torture victim. Mmm mmm good!
- Do nothing. Just blog. Really, it works.
Crystal Clear Comedy
Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, their confidence and insecurities, their love and their hate, their neuroses and psychoses. I see it in you, I see it in me. It makes me laugh, makes me cry. Some days it's crystal clear, other days it makes no sense. One minute I care too much, the next minute I want to turn my back and walk away. From what? From whom? Nothing. No one. Everything. Everyone. Do I sound confused? Nah, I'm seeing crystal clear right now. Until tomorrow, at least. In the meantime I'll take it in, enjoy it all, and laugh my ass off.
WWF In Your Head
Ever wrestle with a decision? They're hard to beat, huh? You think you've got it pinned, and then just before the 3-count it slips out from under you.
Sometimes you luck out and someone comes by to knock it down and lay it out for you. You know, some wrestlers run out of the locker room and whack the decision on the back of the head with a folding chair and dump it in the middle of the ring at your feet. Do you pin? Well, when it's that easy of course you do. You pin and you watch the ref tap the mat and you hear the bell and you think to yourself, boy, I sure am glad I didn't have to suffer any battle bruises from pinning this decision down on my own. Yeah, you're damned lucky, 'cause you know you wouldn't have done it yourself. You're too nice ... or perhaps too chicken. Buhgack!
Perspective
Clears the fog, the mud, the muddle, the puddle. A better sense for who and what matters. People and things that matter, matter more. Likewise, people and things that don't matter, matter less. It's focus. It's efficiency. It's beautiful. It's lovely.
That, plus I get free massages and a new car. Whooha!
01:24 AM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
September 26, 2002 / Thursday
Thingamabobber of the Day
Flexall addict
Someone who puts a bit of Flexall on, then decides that they need a bit more Flexall, then decides that other parts of their body need some Flexall too, until every inch of their body is covered with the stuff and effervescing Flexall fumes. Such individuals can be identified by the clearing of your nasal passages as they walk by.
04:43 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
July 24, 2002 / Wednesday
Thingamabobber of the Day
greater los angeles cambodian lesbian amputees 3-bank snooker association's twenty-third annual sickle-cell anemia vegetarian deep fried quorn-only dinner non-campaign-finance-related fund raiser for children of artificially inseminated cambodian lesbians with transgendered gay cambodian fathers presently working as ladyboys in bangkok
If that's not a thingamabobber I don't know what is. Props to Patling for cooking this up. Yum.
11:53 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
April 19, 2002 / Friday
Thingamabobber of the Day
pseudo six pack
Looks like fab abs but jiggles when you poke it. Sculpted fat. What's up with that? Not fair!
01:46 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
April 17, 2002 / Wednesday
Thingamabobber of the Day
boba buddy
A girl with big boobs who's your buddy.
- or -
A buddy you drink boba with.
- or -
Someone you bring to Ray's Tea Time on Wednesdays between the hours of 4 and 6 PM for their buy one get one free for your buddy deal.
05:05 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
April 01, 2002 / Monday
Thingamabobber of the Night
cyclical bitch
Me, kind of. Hopefully not quite bad enough for the bitch label.
Yes I know it's late and I'm supposed to be in bed, but I had a theory and the scientist in me had to investigate. Notice how I've been cranky and pissy lately? I went back through a bunch of archives to see if there was a pattern and found that my weeklong bouts of cranky pissiness seem to follow a four week cycle.
Dammit, it's PMS! Stupid fucking cranky pissy PMS!
Nooooo! Say it ain't so!
02:40 AM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
March 20, 2002 / Wednesday
Thingamabobber of the Day
penis ad
Those ads you find in Yahoo! and stuff nowadays that get excited when you hover your mouse over them and grow really big. They just pop up on top of what you're looking at and don't go away and you can't do what you want to do because they're sitting there in front of everything distracting you.
12:41 AM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
March 06, 2002 / Wednesday
Thingamabobber of the Day
coincidental conspiracy
When something appears to be a conspiracy but isn't really and only appears to be a conspiracy because of coincidence.
Or maybe ...
A conspiracy with a twin. For example, Group 1 comes up with Devious Plan A. Group 2 comes up with Devious Plan B. Group 1 and Group 2 put their respective devious plans into action. Devious Plans A and B turn out to be the same thing. Or similar things. Or two different things that feed off each other. Or, oh, hell, I dunno. It just sounds cool, okay?
04:48 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
February 17, 2002 / Sunday
Thingamabobber of the Day
maggot abs
Here's how to get 'em:
1. Go to your local gym.
2. Go to the pulley weight stack station.
3. Set the pulley to about chest level.
4. Attach a rope to the pulley.
5. Get on your knees and put your hands on the rope.
6. Crunch down and work those abs.
7. Crunch left and right to target the obliques.
8. Left right left right. Crunch crunch squirm squirm.
You look like a maggot!
Nice abs, maggot.
04:59 PM | Gym:Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
February 01, 2002 / Friday
Thingamabobber of the Day
AIM explosion
What happens when 10 AIM conversation windows pop up in the span of 2 minutes and take up all your real estate and then blink like crazy and make your head want to blow up.
03:23 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
November 28, 2001 / Wednesday
Thingamabobber of the Day
penis arm
What really lean people who lift a lot have.
02:18 AM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
October 17, 2001 / Wednesday
Thingamabobber of the Day
brain punt
Directions:
1. Hold brain with both hands, arms extended.
2. Drop brain while swinging an extended leg in a kicking motion.
3. Make foot contact with the brain.
4. Run to tackle the brain receiver on the opposing team.
Hut hut !!
12:02 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
September 03, 2001 / Monday
Thingamabobber of the Day
Riiiii-Co-laaa
Tames the throat and clears the chest. But only if you say it properly. None of this wimpy-sounding "Ricola" business. Say it like you're on a grassy knoll in Switzerland playing an Alpen horn!
09:41 AM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
August 23, 2001 / Thursday
Thingamabobber of the Day
7:29:09 PM PDT ... in LA, yO!
seatback dominoes
The phenomenon that occurs when one person in a plane leans their seatback back, squishing the person behind them to do the same, which in turn squishes the person behind that person to lean their seatback back, and so on and so forth, until the person in the last row who can't lean their seatback back gets squished.
10:50 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
August 22, 2001 / Wednesday
Thingamabobber of the Day
+3 ... just one more day of this EDT business!
networking boot camp
A place where people go for a hard core people-meeting session
- or -
A place where people go to learn how connect a cluster of computers while being screamed at by an ex-marine drill sergeant.
Whatever it is, I drove by one the other day.
04:41 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
August 15, 2001 / Wednesday
Thingamabobber of the Day
Hitler feet
Feet that move at a greater rate than any other feet on the planet.
The fascist feet on the planet, yO!
You know me, can't resist a nerdy pun.
01:29 AM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
August 13, 2001 / Monday
Thingamabobber of the Day
twinge of annoyance
That feeling you get when ...
a relative of yours starts nagging you and telling you what's right and what you should be doing and how you must be feeling and oh of course if you don't do this then that won't happen because that's just how you are and no it doesn't matter that that's already happening even though you haven't done this yet just because I said so and I'm always right and I always know what's best for you and did you get another raise yet and oh by the way how much do you make anyhow?
- or -
someone starts venting and whining about how everything is horrible in their life and oh woe is them and how this person does this all the time and how that person does that all the time and how they can't stand dealing with those people anymore and oh can you believe whosamawhatzit said blah blah blah blah blah!
Garrr! Everyone leave me alone and go do all your nagging and advice giving and venting in a blog or something!
Um, so anyway, I get the twinge of annoyance but I keep it in check. Petonthehead for me, yo. And thanks for reading, you.
04:42 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
July 28, 2001 / Saturday
Thingamabobber of the Day
vaccuum cleaner rage
What happens when you try to fix your vaccuum cleaner and it just won't fix.
- or -
What happens someone goes nuts while vaccuuming.
- or -
What happens when someone goes nuts and starts attacking other people with a vaccuum cleaner.
07:24 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
July 26, 2001 / Thursday
Thingamabobber of the Day
ass class
That's what Yoshi needs. He's too damned nice and refuses to rule with an iron fist at work like I keep telling him he should. Put everyone on trash duty! Do it! Do it!
Who needs ass class when they can just listen to the evil blogger in me? It's free!
Yeah I talk. I talk and I talk. There's an evil blogger in me but I sure as hell don't listen to it. I'd feel bad. And if you listen to the evil blogger in me and become an ass I'd feel bad about that too.
So don't listen to me. Read my blog and laugh, but don't listen to me. I talk but I don't know what I'm talking about. You probably know that already.
11:01 PM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
July 24, 2001 / Tuesday
Thingamabobber of the Day
magic lump
What happens when you put Magic Shell in the fridge.
11:57 AM | Thingamabobber| Comments (0)
July 09, 2001 / Monday
Thingamabobber of the Day
pretzel gun
A gun you can eat that tastes good with mustard.
- or -
A device that shoots pretzels into your mouth at an astonishingly fast rate.
