Blank Of The Day :: Conversation
November 15, 2007 / Thursday
Conversation of the Day
This is actually a conversation from yesterday...
There's a jar in the break room at work collecting money for patio furniture, a new microwave, and a new tap water filter. I won't go into why some of us feel the need to buy these items with our own funds, but I will share with you the explanation of why we need a new microwave.
- What's wrong with it?
- It leaks.
- Leaks? *looks at counter under microwave* Leaks what?
- Um, microwaves.
- It leaks radiation?! How can you tell??
- Things outside the microwave get hot when you use it.
- Oh. *backs away*
08:24 PM | Conversation| Comments (1)
October 07, 2004 / Thursday
Conversation of the Day
- Hi Veeveeahn!
- Hi [coworker whose name I've removed here]!
- Did you go to the gym today?
- No, I'm going this afternoon.
- Really? You look like you just work out.
- I do?
*smiles and makes gesture referring to hair sticking out in every which way*
As bubka^4 would say, ho ho ho!
09:25 AM | Conversation:Hair| Comments (2)
July 31, 2004 / Saturday
Conversation of the Night
- If we don't like either of those there's always Squat & Gobble, my West Portal backup.
- That sounds like the name of a gay bar.
Huh. Good point.
02:30 AM | Conversation| Comments (0)
June 24, 2004 / Thursday
Conversation of the Night
Topic: City of Heroes, BH's new addiction.
Teddio: I wonder how many transgender superheroes there are.
Me: Transgender superheroes?
Teddio: Yeah, like guys whose character is a girl, or girls whose character is a guy.
BH: If it's a girl with no clothes on ... it's a guy.
10:09 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
March 08, 2004 / Monday
Conversation of the Day
My new company has a monthly onsite chair massage day. The e-mail for this month's visit came out today, and I asked my officemate about it.
- Hey, have you ever done the onsite chair massage?
- No. I don't know why I would want my chair massaged.
My officemate is cool.
We thought it'd be funny to sign up, wheel a chair in, and tell the massage therapist we'd be back to pick up the chair at the end of the time slot.
05:39 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
February 27, 2004 / Friday
Conversation of the Day
Not an antiedote! Amazing, I know. I got a call on my cell phone this morning, from "Blocked ID".
- Hello, this is Vivian.
- Hi Vivian, this is going to sound weird, but I had a huge phone bill and I'm trying to figure out what you have to do with this.
- *thinking she wants financial help* What's the number?
- [my number]
- Well, that's my cell number, all right, but my account's fairly new. When is your bill from?
- I'm just trying to figure out who has this number.
- You can try giving Sprint PCS a call. They're my carrier.
- Okay. Do you know anyone named Guy?
- *chuckles* No.
- I don't mean to be rude, but I hope you're not lying about not knowing Guy and cheating with my boyfriend.
- *falls out of seat*
- I mean, I'm unemployed, a single mother, I have this hundred twenty dollar phone bill, and this is all just too much to deal with.
- No, I can assure you I have no idea who Guy is, but I think you should dump his ass.
- I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you, but ... [more stuff about about her terrible life] ... [more apologies]
- It's all right, I totally understand. Well, I'm sorry to hear that times are so rough for you. I hope they get better. Take care.
- Thanks. Sorry. Bye.
Huh.
01:33 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
January 16, 2004 / Friday
Conversation of the Day
- We made $27,000 already this year!
- And it's not even June!
Is that supposed to make us happy, or not? I'm not sure.
11:00 AM | Conversation| Comments (0)
December 12, 2003 / Friday
Conversation of the Day
- Did you get a haircut?!
- Yes I did. I get one twice a year. July for temperature regulation, and December for the holidays.
11:50 AM | Conversation| Comments (0)
November 06, 2003 / Thursday
Conversation of the Night (Plus Birthday Suit Ramble)
- He'd be hot if he shaved his head.
- You want everyone to be bald, don't you?
- Bald or very short hair, preferably with a goatee.
I think I used to joke that if I ruled the world that would be the law. That and there would be a lot more nakedness, although now that I think about it, maybe that wouldn't be such a good thing. At the very least, this whole everyone-has-to-wear-clothes thing would have to go away.
Clothing optional everything!
Hrmm, that's kind of funny, coming from me. I mean, I definitely wouldn't play hockey naked, wouldn't go snowboarding naked, wouldn't ride my motorcycle naked ... aside from sex all my other favorite things in life require a lot of gear, actually!
Okay, new rule. If it ain't gear (i.e. if it's frou frou) you can't wear it!
10:14 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
November 02, 2003 / Sunday
Conversation of the Night
Upon leaving Kirin on Solano Ave.
- That definitely wasn't authentic Chinese food, but it was good.
- Yeah, but the service was authentic.
- How's that?
- They were rude and slow.
Okay, so this was actually from Saturday night, but who's counting?
Anyway, I didn't think the food was all that good, which may in part account for why I'm bashing their service in my blog.
My experience with Chinese restaurants has been: the schleppier the restaurant looks, the better (or perhaps more authentic) the food tastes. Not only that, but it'll cost several times less.
A quick way to tell is to count the number of Chinese people you see eating inside. More Chinese people = more authentic food.
More authentic = dirtier bathroom. It's true! I swear!
11:07 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
July 17, 2003 / Thursday
Conversation of the Day
Me to Boss: "We would rather not work with this person."
Boss to Me: "I understand. The other day she went off on me for an hour!"
Cool.
03:11 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
June 19, 2003 / Thursday
Conversation of the Day
- Do you prefer an earlier or a later dinner?
- Later is better.
- Okay, how about 8 PM?
- Aie-yah! So late! It's not good for you to eat so late!
Relatives. Can't win.
05:49 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
April 03, 2003 / Thursday
Rallying Phrase of the Last Half Year
rise above
Rise above, as in, we must rise above all the bullshit and politics and personalities and demands of people in the company and do a good job despite them.
Conversation of the Day
- You must "rise above" ... like bread.
- What if I'm matzo?
I guess at this point I'm matzo.
02:24 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
March 08, 2003 / Saturday
Ow, My Ass
Hey everyone, I'm back from Tahoe. I've got a big-ass bruise on, well, my ass. Lemme tell ya, that ice they hide under the thin sheet of snow on the mountain is hard. If you don't believe me try dropping your ass on it from a few feet in the air.
In happier news, I bought a larger MMC and my mp3 player accepted it without too much of a fight. Hooray for more memory!
The bruise on my ass is so big I want to take a picture of it and post it here so you can see too.
Would that be considered porn?
Could I charge money for it?
How much would you pay for a shot of my ass?
Um, anyway, I have sort of a conversation of the day for you. It starts off with me kind of ripping on people who are ripping on the French over this whole Iraq thing.
- If it weren't for the U.S. the French would be speaking German?
- Well if it weren't for the French we'd all be British!
- And if it weren't for blacks there'd be no cotton.
- And we'd all be wearing polyester!
11:12 PM | Conversation:Injuries:Snow| Comments (0)
February 10, 2003 / Monday
Conversation of the Day
Actually from yesterday. Some players from Blue division (they're the really really good ones who kick hockey butt) were changing after their game last night while I was getting my gear on. You know how I call my teammates hockey homies? Well these gals were HOMIES. Canadian homies, at that.
- I don't understand this thong thing. Why would anyone want to wear thongs?
- Yeah, they seem so uncomfortable, eh?
- I'm told they're good for when you wear tight pants.
- Why would you want to wear tight pants?
- I can't imagine that, eh?
- My sisters wear thongs.
- Doesn't it ride up their ass?
And so on. Canadians and hockey homies, gotta love 'em.
12:07 PM | Conversation:Hockey| Comments (0)
November 01, 2002 / Friday
Conversation of the Day
- I don't listen to the radio at home.
- Why not?
- Because when I go home, SportsCenter comes on.
- You're strange.
Grin
- You're not like other women.
Nope, and boy am I glad I'm not!
12:11 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
July 29, 2002 / Monday
Conversation of the Day
Engagements and weddings. I'm surrounded by engagements and weddings.
- Why is everyone getting married?
- Because it's summertime. It's what they do.
Must be some strange people thing. Weather's warm, let's wed.
On a related note, I was in a random stuff / gag shop yesterday and I saw a huge platinum diamond ring for sale. Huge as in huge enough to fit around your wrist. At first glance I thought it doubled as a handcuff. "How appropriate," I thought. But then I realized I was looking at them through Play! filters and it was really nothing more than a big plastic ring. Silly me.
On a note related to the related note, I had possibly the best burger in San Francisco yesterday. Moo for Darla's.
Would the above be 2 degrees of relatedness or related to the 2nd power?
04:45 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
July 14, 2002 / Sunday
Conversation of the Day
- I wish I were really strong so I could pick up cars with one hand and move
them.
- Why?
- 'Cause then I'd never have to look for parking.
- But where would you put the other car?
- I'd just dump it in the middle of the street and they'd tow it away.
01:25 AM | Conversation| Comments (0)
July 04, 2002 / Thursday
Powerp.u.ck Girls (remove the .'s) Game 7 ... Special Bonus Post At The End
We're beginning to dominate.
Seven goals for game 7, to the other team's one. I guess that's what happens when you learn to pass. We wore out their goalie tonight. And at the end of it all, most of us weren't even tired.
I got to play right wing again, with my favorite center and left winger teammates. I requested that line because I knew we could score. I think our line scored half our goals. Whee!
Got me an assist and another breakaway goal. Oh, but it wasn't just any breakaway. It was a breakaway on a penalty kill off my own faceoff! Whee again!
WOooWOoo for the Powerp.u.ck Girls (remove the .'s) !!
You guys all know by now to remove the .'s, right?
Okay, and now for the bonus.
The Post-Game Bonus
So after the game the other team's captain came around and invited us all to have a beer at an Irish karaoke pub nearby. Sure, I said. It's always good to hang out with everyone afterward. Besides, I wanted to sing!
I reek of smoke. The place was full of smoking drunks. But they were singing and having a good time so it was all good.
I realized about 2 minutes after I got there that I was the only straight one in my group. I got to hear lots about the drunken dyke march at the Gay Pride Parade last weekend. A different crowd indeed, my hockey homies. Kind of refreshing, actually.
Pause here for 1:30 AM donut run with Chih.
Back. Had the usual chocolate covered old fashioned donut. Threw in a carton of milk for good measure.
So yeah, beer and dyke talk. I signed up to sing Limp Bizkit somewhere along the way. Finally my turn came up and I busted out with a full on Fred Durst rendition of My Way. Yeeeah! Everyone in the place went nuts and started jumping around. I had a little mosh pit going! I finished up and random bar patrons came up to high five me. My hockey homies looked at my glass of water and wondered how I managed to Durst out sober.
But you guys, I do everything sober!
There was this old drunk guy at the bar smoking cigars. He put a quarter in one of those stuffed animal claw machines in the corner of the bar and won himself a stuffed ducky. The duck was just sitting there on the bar next to him as he drank. At one point I picked it up and made it dance. Oh! Conversation post!
Conversation of the Day
- I want you to have this duck.
- But he's your drinking buddy!
- No no, I just talked to him and he says he wants to go home with you,
not me.
Thanks for the stuffed duck, old drunk guy.
I've got a quote of the day, too. It's from my steer wrestler teammate, whose birthday is today. Oh, by the way, happy July 4th, everyone!
Quote of the Day
It wasn't until I was four that I realized the fireworks weren't for me.
Hockey and dykes and duckies and Limp Bizkit karaoke. Whee!
A Bonus Bonus Section
There was going to be only one bonus section, but Chih decided he wanted a donut while I was writing the original bonus section and so now there's a bonus to the bonus. The donut was decent and the free fresh donut holes were great. I'm not sure whether we got the donut holes because of my irresistible cuteness or Chih's irresistible hottieness. Either way, we chowed and talked and then played with bright orange vinyl plasticky flags at a Berkeley intersection at 3 in the morning. Quite fun. A lovely way to finish off the night!
04:27 AM | Conversation:Powerpuck Girls:Quote| Comments (0)
July 01, 2002 / Monday
Conversation of the Day
So Jennie and I walk into the GNC at Hillsdale this afternoon. The salesperson there smiles as he recalls that I'm 5-HTP girl. "Good times, good times" he says. I ask to look at something else too and as he scoots behind me to let me get closer I turn and wind up whacking him in the nuts. 
"Ow" he says. Oops.
I make my choices and head up to the register.
- Hey, sorry about hitting you earlier.
- That's ok. Why don't you spank my ass while you're at it?
- Bend over.
More ass spanking talk ensues.
- Do you have your GNC card?
- Yeah, I've been waiting for the beginning of the month so I could use it.
- Oh, just come in whenever. I'll give you the discount ...
as long as you bring a hot friend along to spank my ass.
So there you have it. I'm 5-HTP girl and Jennie's my hot friend who the GNC guy wants to spank his ass. Who would've thought nutritional stores could be so fun?
03:13 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
June 28, 2002 / Friday
Conversation of the Day
Ring ring ...
- D...NA Lounge.
- Helllllo. I wanted to see if there was a dress code for tonight.
- Clown suits. We absolutely suggest clown suits.
If you do not own a clown suit, anything else will be fine.
- I've got a space suit. Would that be okay?
- That would be perfectly acceptable.
03:51 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
June 24, 2002 / Monday
Conversation of the Day
- What happened to your giant contact lens?
- I crushed it in a fit of unhappiness.
Blink blink.
- I felt much better afterwards.
- Well, maybe we should all get one of these!
02:58 PM | Conversation| Comments (0)
June 03, 2002 / Monday
Conversation of the Day
Me to boss: "I had such a sweet setup at home last night! I had my Thinkpad on the left, the Powerbook G4 on the right, my Vaio tower in the middle, and they were all hooked up!"
Boss to me: "I wouldn't tell that to any members of the opposite sex. You'd probably intimidate them with all your computing power."
