Muse back!
September 17, 2001 / Monday
Lyrical Blip of the Day
So before I left for LA I was starting to think I was doing a good job of getting over the talk and the subsequent event, which, by the way, I cannot call the event anymore because there has since been a much larger event in everyone's lives and I feel I should reserve the italics for that instead.
Anyway, I was starting to think this because: 1. I've noticed that I have far fewer very angry days where I'm pissed off because of something having to do with the relationship. Because it doesn't matter anymore. There's nothing to rage about. 2. Before I met him I'd be happy for happy couples. After we broke up I'd be jealous of happy couples. Saturday I realized I'm happy for happy couples again.
But then the songs yesterday made me realize how fresh those wounds still are. They made realize how much it did mean to me. They made me realize I'm not as close to being over it as I thought.
And then on the way home the new Linkin Park song came on the radio. Someone once said to me that it was the story of their life. And as I sang along today I felt like it was talking about me too. Which brings us to...
I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
But make no mistake. I am not pitying myself. I'm sad but I have to and will get over it. I may be sad but I'm feeling defiant. I want to go out there and move on and show that I don't need what I don't have anymore. Show whom? Show him? Perhaps, but for all the wrong reasons. The person I want to show that to is me.
September 17, 2001 10:02 PM | Lyrical Blip