I headed back to the float tank today for some focused reflection on hockey. Because maybe there’s something I haven’t worked my way through yet.
I suppose you could call it a housekeeping visit for my mind. I like to be thorough.
I dropped myself back in 2002 and went through the moments that stand out:
Showing up at Belmont Iceland and being taught how to put my gear on.
My first ever hockey drill: Learning to fall, then learning how to get back up.
Breakaways in Green Division. Slamming into the boards because I didn’t know how to stop. The refs asking me if I was okay.
Getting chased down and knocked over by Ruth in Red Division.
Learning how to chase other people down in Red Division. If you’re fast enough, you can take the puck cleanly from them. No knocking required.
Trying out for Maroon and not making it. I worked my ass off the next season, attending every clinic I could find, in an effort to improve.
Skating circles around Red Division after a power skating camp. Scored my first hat trick. That was my last season in Red.
Hating my first season in Maroon Division because our coached cared more about winning than having fun.
My first game in Blue Division, catching my breath on the bench, in awe of how fast everyone skated.
Championship goals and assists. Overtime victories. Game winners.
Laughing with and at my teammates. Getting laughed at in return.
There are lots of good moments, and a sprinkling of challenging ones. The challenging ones made me better in the end. I learned how to chase, I worked hard and improved, and I made fun a core tenet of hockey. My hockey.
My mind jumped a bit to work. Things change quickly at work, and there’s some change I need to spend time processing. Meditation and float time are great ways to surface what’s truly on my mind.
Toward the end of the session I focused on relaxing. The water went away pretty quickly. Peace.
It’s not clear to me whether that water going away feeling comes from my body getting used to the constant even pressure, relaxation from the Epsom salt, or my mind. I suppose if I’m able to relax into this state earlier in the session that would make it a mental phenomenon.
I guess that means I’ll need to try again.