Miraculous Insecticide Chalk
The description for this product is so awesome I had to share.
My favorite line:
Our employees have been using this product since 1989 and seem to still have no neurological problems at all.
“There may or may not be neurotoxins in this product but even if there are they’re legal and no worse for you than diet soda” aside, I’ve actually used this stuff with good results, and seem to still have not grown an extra head.