Since about a week after I bought my car, it’s been getting regularly pooped on by one or more small birds while in my parking space at home. There are a few modest trees adjacent to my space, and the pattern and location of the poop indicates that the offending parties do their business as they take off from the tree at the front of my space and fly over my car.
I’ve been looking for these poopie birds for a while now. Recently, I noticed a concentration of bird droppings on the ground behind my car, under another tree. I looked in that tree over and over, and today, I found one of the culprits (or maybe it’s a LONE culprit): a little yellow fuzzy finch-like bird. I looked at it. It looked at me.
“YOU BASTARD!!!” I yelled. Okay, not really.
So, having come face to face with the pooper, what do I do next?
I want to dissuade it, and any of its friends, from hanging out in the trees near my car without hurting them. How do I do that?
I’m really hoping there’s a way, because if they keep pooping on my car, I’m eventually going to resort to sniping them with BBs, which is not good for any of the parties involved.
No, I can’t just let them keep pooping on my car. Bird poop is bad for the paint. The NEW paint.
And no, I am not going to get a car cover. That is simply not a reasonable solution for a daily commute vehicle, not to mention I’d be touching bird poop all the time taking it on and off.
Also no, I’m not going to park on the street. I’m all for these birds having a happy hangout somewhere, but not enough to donate my parking spot to the cause. Not unless they want to pay for part of my rent.
So, readers, especially those of you who care or know something about birds, how do I make them go away?