Okay, I’m feeling wronged. I know this guy who was caught going over 100 MPH twice and both times the CHP officer gave him a ticket for something less. Heck, the first time he got pulled over he only got a lecture. A farking lecture!!
I got pulled over and the very first time and I got a ticket for exactly what the farking radar gun said and a lecture and I had to go back to the smelly cow-infested town of Coalinga to face the judge and they took away my license for a month!
You know, I think the unabomber was on to something. I’m compelled by this great ticket-issuing injustice to start my own mail bomb campaign. No manifesto from me, though. No time for that. I’m just gonna jump right into the bomb mailing. I don’t know where the officer who pulled me over was from so I guess I’m gonna have to blow up Coalinga.
If you live close to that town (I’m sorry if you do) then consider this fair warning. It’s gonna be raining cow manure around there pretty soon. Nearby residents (up to a 100 mile radius) please be sure your emergency gasmasks (yeah, I know it’s standard issue for you guys out there) are functioning properly.
Kaboom!… Splat splat splat!