Sex-Crazed Monkeys

When I first discovered online news (back in the stone ages) the section with all the weird stories was my favorite. Where are those sections in the regular newspapers? I feel bad for all the poor little peeplz without internet access. Having to read boring depressing articles day after day. Bombings and market crashes and power outages. Why not read something that makes you laugh instead? Like today, I read a blurb about a sex-crazed chocolate-fueled monkey attacking girls and flirting with neighborhood pets. I tried to picture it but being an urban dweller all I could really come up with was a mental image of Homer Simpson’s helper monkey Mojo.

Speaking of monkeys. All of youz with Palm OS devices should check out‘s PortaMonkey. The little dude eats and poops and screws innocent bunnies. You can zap him, too, and not worry about PETA chaining themselves to your doorknob. Just click on the “wireless” link when you get there.

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